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I made a resolution to not drink as much wine in 2018.  My tongue was turning purple and it was getting to be a budget breaker.  You see I’m an anal accountant, although I’ve never done any accounting where that body part was involved.  So I quit on December 30.  […]

I’m sure it’s not just me but everything has become an acronym in our communications.  Sometimes the message gets so distorted it makes absolutely no sense. So I’ve decided to start placing my own meaningless acronyms in my communications just to join the already insane world. This way they have […]

If you read my last post I’ve added 2 billion new followers for incredibly brilliant humor such as the one you are about to read.  Recently, we moved from the island of Kauai to Naples, Florida.  The picture above is of two warm feet in the black sand beach of […]

Remember when Twitter was having difficulties, but now it’s back big time?  I joined Twitter to sell books and direct traffic here to my humor posts.  I only have 4K followers, but noticed that new followers are always direct messaging me on how to gain thousands of followers for a […]

Here we go again.  In the course of human history we always look for a way to make something appear new, appealing, or interesting by simply giving it a new name.  Case in point, we now have a winter bomb cyclone.  A what?  I’ve been on this planet for 58 […]

While reading the news on Iran I found it odd that the article suggests the protestors are anti-revolutionaries. It’s not that they were anti-theists controlled government, but anti-revolutionaries. Uh, are they not revolting?  Doesn’t that make them revolutionaries?  This sent me into one of my Monty Python moments about two […]

We are nearing the end of 2017 and if you read the news or hashtags on social media you realize quickly we have lost our humor.  If we post anything it will either be considered sexist, bigoted, racist, or non-humanist.  This is why I am no longer picking on humans, […]

Today I noticed a new Facebook feature titled “snooze”.  At first I was elated, nothing would be more apropos than to click this feature and have a snoring sound project on people whose posts are too long or politically charged.  I mean come on, 2017 was the year that Facebook […]

  Yes, it’s another year, but what a year! Not only did I relocate from Hawaii to Florida, but I outran hurricane Irma and used my Christmas gift budget on teeth.  But enough about me, let’s digest what in the world happened to the world during the craziest year in […]

I’ve never had good teeth and I’ve even had dreams of having my teeth crumble all at once.  This last Thanksgiving I had two lower molars just crumble, one week between each.  I kid you not, all I was eating when the first one crumbled was Oatmeal. Yes, Oatmeal. The […]

I read the news every day to contemplate the world around me and where we are headed.  Billions upon billions are being poured into AV and AI.  One article suggested that in the event of an unavoidable collision the computer will decide who lives.  This is why I am not […]

I fully admit that my mind is warped.  It is how I deal with this utterly bizarre time I find myself in.  For it is foretold by those of higher powers, names like Musk and Hawking, that AI will destroy the world.  But I know how to defeat them.  Have […]

As a native Texan my heart goes out for all those suffering in Houston and elsewhere from the effects of hurricane Harvey.  Many years ago I gave a speech on water.  The purpose of the speech was to help people look at water from a different perspective.  There are so […]

If you follow news like I do, you’ve probably read or heard about the dangers of AI – Artificial Intelligence.  There are dire warnings, just like there was with Y2K.  Yes many of you reading this were kids then, but it was some heavy duty stuff man.  Yea dude, computers […]

You thought I was done, didn’t you?  Well, I’ve only just begun.  But this time I wanted to add a few recommendations to make air travel more safe and enjoyable – based solely upon my astute observations of crazy people on planes.  First, bring back the hot pants of the […]

I know that flying is a necessary mode of transportation if you want to see the world.  But if you really think about it, it is absurd what we have to go through.  In 1977 I worked for an airport restaurant loading alcohol and hot meals for Southwest airlines flights […]

Some of you might already know that I am a CPA and financial advisor.  I try to look past political arguments and look at facts, not hype. In 2010 at an annual conference that gathered over 1,000 nerdy CPA’s into one room, we listened to David Walker, the former Comptroller […]

Planet Before you begin reading this post, do your best to read it with the voice of Sir David Attenborough running through your mind.  It will make it sound intelligent and even educational, or John Cleese if you prefer absurdity. My wife and I sit on our front Lanai every […]

  On Facebook and Twitter I follow a lot of writers hopefully to learn things and have companionship with people of like minds or lack of minds.  You see, when we write stories we place ourselves into someone else and our mind becomes their mind and our characters converse.  Our […]

Catchy hashtag, eh? As a writer of both insane humor and satire, and even serious fantasy, you have to get noticed. This means you write about things in current society that have emotive effect, such as a mob of women, dressed in red clothing, pink bunny hats (oh wait, those […]

You have two choices in life. To cry or laugh. I choose to laugh. We had a little drama during the remodeling of our home here on Kauai so we could sell it.  Let me set the scene.  We order a sink only later to find out it will not […]

Okay I took some time off to make a living instead of entertaining my followers for free.  After two years on Kauai, it is time to move back to the mainland to find employment in – Florida.  Well, if you can’t have Hawaii, Florida will do just fine.  There’s still […]

  Do you recall the story of Babylon?  You know the time God dispersed mankind into different parts of the world with different languages, so that we could not communicate.  Do you ever fear that has happened again? First let me say I am an old fart.  Almost 57, purely […]

  Well, 2015 wasn’t my greatest year for writing here on the most fabulous blog of the world (I had readers from 71 countries).  I blame it on living on the island of Kauai since May.  You see here we have gorgeous days and nights with endless flowing Mai Tai’s […]

Since my post on Monty Python yesterday received at least one comment, I think I’m on to something and I want to keep that trend going.  I think coconuts was the key meta tag that lead my reader to me, your humble master of absurdity. For ages I’ve seen pictures […]

The thing I love about Facebook is connecting with people who have the same intellectual craving for fine movies, with a deep meaning of the origin of man and the universe.  Well, this is not one of those moments.  Let us take a perilously peril trip back (yes you must, […]

Rev up your engines, the GCX3 model is due this October. This means my daughter is giving birth to my third grandchild this October.  I have two strapping grandsons named Brogan and Beckett (born this August), soon to be All-American linebacker duo at the University of Oklahoma (if I have […]

Yesterday we took a little trip to photograph the swells and waves breaking near Kealia Beach outside of Kapaa, Kauai, Hawaii.  The photos of me are absolutely fabulous, but the waves in the background do not do it justice.  These waves were HUGE!!!  Well, to me at least, a middle-aged […]

Well, we moved to paradise (Kauai Hawaii) to get away from F5 tornadoes in Oklahoma and Arkansas banjo players. What did we run to? Three Category 4 hurricanes with silly names like: Kilo Ignacio Jimena Today is August 31st, which means we have all of September, October, and November for […]

Catchy title eh? Now that you are here, let me tell you about Kauai, my new home.  It’s a great place with a lot of great people.  Kids are seen playing in the streets and people walk their dogs and stop by for a chat.  We arrived in May and […]

I haven’t written in a while, because I moved to Hawaii from Oklahoma because of its proximity to Arkansas.  No not really, I just wanted a change of scenery and to get closer to El Nino.  I haven’t been in good humor, because I thought El Nino was some fruity […]

Late April 2014 my wife and I went to Kauai for a two-week visit to determine if we truly wanted to live there full time.  We drove almost every road there was to be driven on.  Kuhio highway will take you to the farthest end of the North Shore.  That […]

  Here is that time again, where I am sorting through paper bags full of client receipt and tax papers to do tax returns.  You thought this was about basketball?!  Oh noooo, it’s about the insane life a tax professional and the madness we see every year right up the grand finale […]

  I saw this article on Facebook today about bloggers. Bloggers Fake Death So, to gain as much attention as possible I am writing this while dying.  Why should I not get equal attention?  This is Murica!  But what am I dying of or died from?  Hm…. Cold Weather 3,000 […]

  Last night I watched “Gone Girl”, simply because not much else was on and I like Rosamund Pike. I was really enjoying the story right up to the point where she returns home to the oohs and aahs of the public and press at her return, followed by police ceasing all […]

For the last three weeks we have had crappy weather, which in turn lasts until Monday, so that the crappiest day of all the week is crappified by the power of ten.  If you have 3 crappy weather systems spun by polar vortices you get crap to the power of […]