The press is in love with autonomous smart cars. GM showed a picture of their AV with no steering wheel and another article talks about how a car will read your emotions and brain waves. Really? Now we have another acronym we need to remember in our texting vocabulary hell, EDA (Emotionally Disturbed Autos). If it can read my emotions, will it take action? For example, say I’m thinking about ice cream and the emotional pleasure it gives me, will it drive me to the nearest ice cream shop? What happens if you should accidentally think about sex, which we men rarely do, is it going to drive me to the nearest gentleman’s club or Rosie’s Red Light House and then tell my wife out of guilt? Will it talk to us? Can we program it what to say and not say? Can you see the ethical dilemma here?
I can see me waiting at the red light and a very attractive woman walks by my car. Is my car going to whistle creating sexual harassment and divorce litigation? What if you are ADD? Is it going to create havoc in the streets when your thoughts change so quickly?
Why aren’t people satisfied with just getting from point A to point B? Well, here in Naples, Florida some of the elderly get to point B, by going left at point C, and then drastically cut back right at point Z to get back to point B. It’s like a geriatric bumper car track here.
Will it become self aware and have an AEB – Artificial Emotional Breakdown? Will it need time off to attend AAAC – Artificial Autonomous Auto Counseling, leaving me with no means to get to point F, I mean point B. Will it decide its relationship with you isn’t working and catapult you like a villain in a 007 film? Will it drive off the cliff, knowing it can’t live with you anymore and forgetting you are still strapped in. I don’t need a Thelma and Louise logic board. What if it needs to talk at 2 am and insists it doesn’t need fixing? Is it going to incessantly beep when it wants attention or shut off all power to your smart home and change your smart music system to the Willie Nelson channel?
What if it feels like being a prankster and tries to outrun an AV police car? Will the two AV’s hash out their emotions while me and the officer have a few donuts together? Will it act like a smart ass auto? Will it think it’s a 1977 Trans Am and try to fly over Buford T. Justice in a flash of glory? Will it watch Knight Rider and contract MVPD – Multiple Vehicle Personality Disorder? Will it develop AVK – Autonomous Vehicle Kleptomania and steal AV’s or become a AVN – Autonomous Vehicle Nymphomania and create a harem of AV’s? Now we can see why leading scientist and engineers think AI, AV and EDA’s are a bad thing. The questions are unlimited as to what emotionally unstable acts it might commit.
Why are we obsessed with gadgets? Will the EDA become emotionally attached to those too and order what it wants from Amazon on your credit card? Can it give you credit repair advice? What happens if it decides it needs a lazy day to play AVVG’s – Autonomous Vehicle Video Games, such as Grand Theft AV or watches the Dell Notebook movie over and over again, wailing with short little beeps followed by one very long beep? It’s getting a little ridiculous don’t you think?
Will it need a drive in the country to talk about it’s bad day in the garage, meandering along secluded roads with beautiful scenery, and serve me a glass of wine? If yes…
WELL HELL, I’M ALL IN!
It’s very emotional to me, talk among yourselves.
