I lived on the island of Kauai, Hawaii for two years from 2015 – 2017, the recent nuclear attack alert is just bizarre. People were actually scared to death, friends and relatives I know there talked about lying down and saying goodbye to each other. Apparently, the employee involved had to press two buttons for this to occur, with the famous Windows message, “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Now I get really angry when any application slows me down with these messages, but I’m just a bean counter, no one suffers if I select the wrong message. So here’s the 10-step failsafe programming fix:
- Are you sure? This message will post to cell phones and local media?
- What the…? Really? Have you confirmed this with a superior? Are you sure?
- Good God almighty dude, are you on meth? I’ve checked with NORAD, The CIA, DOD and the Pacific Missile range and their AI says it’s not really happening? Are you sure?
- Is this a political statement? Are you sure?
- You will spend years in prison – Are you sure?
- Please enter your user id and password again. Okay you passed. Are you sure?
- Are you suffering from a SPAM overdose BRAH? Are you sure?
- Are you changing shifts? Confirm with your replacement. Are you still sure?
- What? They agree too? Are you all on a wongo bongo break? Are you absolutely F$%*@#! sure?
- Are you willing to walk on the Kilauea Lava Flow to prove this is the correct thing to do? I thought so. I’ve processed your unemployment papers, please proceed to HR.
Now, normally I wouldn’t write a humor post on something like this, but it demonstrates that the real-world news is an endless supplier of satire and sarcasm. Even worse it is the demonstration that too many people are going through the motions of their duties without a second thought on what they are about to do. I’ve been a real skeptic of Artificial Intelligence, but as you can see, Actual Ignorance (The Other AI) is just as frightening. Failsafe was one of the scariest books I read in elementary school. To think we would be wiped out without any knowledge of the imminent attack now appears less frightening than a false alarm caused by either AI’s. People could have committed suicide fearing they might survive the attack and suffer from the burns or radiation.
At some point we may not get a second chance to correct our errors, and that my friends isn’t funny.
To all my friends and relatives on Kauai, hang loose now.
