Apocalypse Monthly – February 2024

Have you ever noticed that people have a tendency to add words to their vocabulary simply because it’s the word of the month?  Lately, the word is “existential”: of or relating to existence, esp human existence. If you read the news we have existential threats every where and every day.  Some people get carried away with the word, for example:

 

“If the former president is reelected it is an existential threat!!!”

“Ms. Swift is a huge fan of the current president, that’s an existential threat to us all!!!”

“ChatGPT and GossipGPT are existential threats!!!”

“ShrinkFlation of my Nachos Dorados is an existential threat, EGAD!!!”

“My Cell phone is dead, no selfies, no tick tocks, no nothing -it’s an existential threat OMG!!!!”

 

Dictionary.com selected this word as the word of the year in 2019.  So if they are on board, you know everything is an existential threat.  What are we to do with so much doom at hand? It’s not like I can climb a volcano and throw the ring of existentialism in the fiery chasm from whence it came. I just saw a series of commercials for a cellphone where the actors are told, “That’s a little dramatic.”

Here’s a thought.  Take one day at a time.  Turn off the news and go outside to enjoy the beauty of our world, before an asteroid destroys us all.  No wait, wait, that’s a little too doomy. Concentrate on the positives Eddie.

Second thought, love on your English Cream Golden Retriever, who afterwards rips a hole in my new leather couch and then tries to dominate my left leg and sprains it to the point I can only operate like a pogo-stick.  Damn dog! Okay that’s not working either.

Third, soothe yourself by making brownies and artisan bread, only to discover the brownies fall apart like corn flakes and the bread can only be used as a paper weight, and will survive whatever existential event comes. WTH, WTH, WTF, WTF.  Okay I am better now, I’ve survived this existential moment.

Okay, forget all my advise, turns out it’s only an existential threat to the universe, dogs, and cooking.

Besides we really, really do have to worry about Zombies, UAP’s, and Poli-Ticks!

 

If you enjoy my post, make a comment about what is your most existential threat today?  You won’t get paid of course, because my bank account is an existential threat.