Get OFF the Bridge!

Late April 2014 my wife and I went to Kauai for a two-week visit to determine if we truly wanted to live there full time.  We drove almost every road there was to be driven on.  Kuhio highway will take you to the farthest end of the North Shore.  That is if you can cross the Hanalei bridge.  It so happens one day we noticed a bikini model on the narrow one lane bridge.  A sign says that the local custom is to allow 5-7 cars to cross and then return the favor.  Except on this fateful day it had a model on it slowing everything down.  Now, my first thought was, “Well, it is Hawaii, bound to be plenty of bikini models running around slowing down traffic.”  My next thought was, “Get OFF the bridge! We want to get to the beach!”  I thought nothing of this until earlier this month on the Travel Channel we were watching a special about a Sports Illustrated shoot of the swimsuit edition models on Kauai.  Now, I was interested.

Well it turns out that the traffic stopping model was Hailey Clauson and here she is on said bridge.

http://www.si.com/swimsuit/2015/models/hailey-clauson/photos/11

Watching the show, you would think that every person who crossed that bridge was thinking,

“Sweet mother of all pancakes!”

In fact, I was worried about hitting her and being sued beyond belief.  Now that I know she is a world famous Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, I was worried about hitting her, being sued beyond belief and being severely mauled by hormone ridden young guys and turned into shark bait.

If Ms. Clauson is reading my world famous blog, I just want to know one thing.  Why did you have a picture taken with a surf board on a bridge?  Is this the popular place for string bikini surfer babes to hang out? Were you hitch-hiking?  Do you even know how to surf and keep that skimpy thread of fabric on?  Those were the thoughts on my mind.  Now, I said none of this out loud due to my respect of Mrs. Greenlee, who also has a mean right hook.

So in all respect to Ms. Clauson, I wish you a long and successful career and that Sports Illustrated continue to supply us sports coverage, no matter how loosely you define sports or swimsuits. Knowing that there might be future shoots on Kauai, I am glad we move into our home on May 5th. We made the perfect decision.  But please,

Get OFF that bridge!

Lovingly yours,

E.W. Greenlee

(Oh crap!  Here’s comes Mrs. Greenlee)