Nudists and Tornados

I have a follower and frequent commenter who is a nudist.  He has a good sense of humor. In May, we bantered over the need to take cover for upcoming storms.  We both live in Oklahoma.  I suggested he have tennis shoes by the ready.  I love going nude with my feet, but that’s about all.  I have nothing against nudists, to each his own, they don’t alarm or offend me.  On occasion I will run free willy around the house, until my wife tells me she needs me to go mow the lawn. Willy just pouts. But in the case of tornadoes I’d like to have a little clothing protection, so wee willy isn’t whisked away in the wailing wind.  I know, I know, alliterations make for bad writing, except absurd humor writing, my specialty.

Some day I just might interview a nudist to see what they find humorous.  For example, do Oklahoma nudists run nude in the winter?  We do get very stiff and cold winds here (no pun intended).  Do they get chaffed in the hot and humid Oklahoma summers?  Now I notice some nude camps play sports.  Do they wear athletic support devices? Do three legged races have a completely different meaning?  Is the potato sack race kinda rough? Are they penalized in volleyball for using their exposed body parts?

How do you recruit members? Please do not send picture of face, just the body.

But the biggest question of all is this, if a nudist is not aroused by the sight of another nudist, what works for them?  Clothing?

“Hey baby, put on that shirt!  Oh yeah, yeah, now the fur coat, oooh it’s getting hot in here!”

Or is it a hairdo or Tattoos? Do nudists go on and on about manicures and pedicures?  How can you possibly engage in conversation and control your eyes at the same time?  I’d go cross-eyed and pass out from vertigo.

You see, for me, the sexiest thing in life is seeing a woman in lingerie.  If provides mystique and a tease.  Once it’s all off, I find there isn’t truly that much differentiation.  It’s like stripping your sisters Barbie dolls naked and being terribly disappointed.

“That’s it?! I was going to have GI Joe come over and open a BarbieQ Nudist Colony. Why bother now.”

Sex and nudity are overrated. We spend way too much time on them.  This is why I write absurd post on them, so that you will read them, since my fantasy trilogy and the upcoming chronicles seem of no interest.  Sorry, no nudity or salacious plots, just a quest, a completely clothed quest.

So as I close this post, I am not judging a nudist, I respect their beliefs in wearing no briefs.  Besides if we were all the same, life would sure be dull.  Oh and by the way, my reader really liked a reference, not my own, of Dashing Danglies.  I’ll leave this to your salacious imagination.