My daughter believes my blog needs a little less dash of bacon and more dashes of fashion. She gave me this photo and challenged me to write something humorous about it. Where can I possibly start? For once I was almost speechless, well, fingerless since this is a blog. I think this was PhotoShopped, PhotoHijacked, or something. Well, for the love of my daughter here is my best attempt at fashion humor.
Zis is Eduardo Hancho Pancho Gerard Bove reporting live from zee Milan Fazhion unz Munzter Truckz Zhow. Today we have zum unique fazhionz to dizplay to zee wurld – Yaz! Oh my wurdz, hold zee phonzee, here’s come zee muzt unzeexpected entry zis yur. (Okay enough of the Mexican Austrian French accent – it isn’t working for me.)
Surely Shirley the Wookie wouldn’t be caught dead on the streets of ole Gay Paris with this outfit. I mean really, look at those knobby knees, puhleeeze! And that terribly silly ball bag, look at the color clash with her Romanesque style sandals. Besides, you lay down the bag and it rolls away. Designers these days!
And that dress! Gag me with a forklift, it looks like a beat down Idaho potato sack bag from Caddy Shack running away on the runway. Even Cat’s won’t tolerate this on their catwalk.
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Tacky Model Hack in Caddy Shack Idaho Potato Sack
See, I paid attention to Dr. Seuss’ therapy sessions – “I like green eggs and ham,” said Sam I am. Yet, I digress as usual. Dr. Seuss said I had ODD.
Finally look at the horrible necklace, she might as well use it as a noose, or binding for the hay on the farm. Other than that, that’s my fashionista’s best review. Oh the face, the scalp and the beard – I’m so sorry. I just noticed it was aunt Mabel Sue from Arkansas. Hi aunt Mabel Sue, hi! Why is she running back? She didn’t even notice me, that unfriendly hussy. Besides she has no fashion sense.
Only yours truly, Eduardo Hancho Pancho Gerard Bove has any fashion common sense. Here’s a taste of the fashion styles for 2013.
And for common sense home attire:
Finally, for the sporty types:
Is that funny enough my loving daughter? What? You say you want a name change and to be put up for adoption! But you are 25 years old my darling sweet pea.
Well that shut her up.
Anz thiz iz Eduardo Hancho Pancho Gerard Bove zaying zo long from zee Milan Fazhion unz Munzter Truckz Zhow – Yaz! Zzzzzzzzzzz
5 thoughts on “For the Love of my Daughter”
Please remember that this is absurd humor, please do not commission a fashion model hit squad. If you must I’ll give you my daughters address, it was her challenge.
you must love your daughter very much! x
Very much so. I especially love to see her laugh and fleeing for her life.
I see how it is… 🙂
I like how you focused on everything except the poor model’s hideous nose job, I mean if she wanted a prettier nose all she had to do was run into a wall and Voila! instant pug nose!
As a world famous writer, my sweet pea, I have to keep my readers curious. They were probably reading and asking – “Is he freaking blind?” Thanks for reading and posting, and of course, not disowning me.