50 Shades of Grey Balls

Ha!  Caught you looking didn’t I?  This is a blog post about golfing, not about BDSM, whatever BDSM means.  Golf  ball makers usually add all kinds of logos, emblems, etc to their balls.  The balls themselves are usually white or yellow.  All of these attempts to help me concentrate never work for a guy like me who truly sucks at the game of golf.  What if, the balls were colored grey?  Yea, yea, that’s the ticket – grey balls, with little BDSM logos imprinted on them.  Sell them in 50 packs and place them near the ladies clothing section of the golf store.  You’d see tons of women in the corner snickering and gasping for breath. “I need these balls,” shouts one.

You see, every so often something astounding happens that impacts the way we see life and market the heck out of it.  50 Shades of Grey has spurred a new round (not golf) of inflamed female hormones.  Therefore anything with “50 Shades of blah, blah, blah” next to it will catch their attention.  I just want in on the action, cash action that is.

Imagine how lively the old country club scene would be if all the ladies in the bridge room were talking about the balls.  Men would be walking by and hear nothing other than “blah, blah, blah, BALLS, blah, blah, blah…”  The men would stop dead in their tracks, ripping up the new carpet just to see if they could hear more.  Really make it interesting by placing bets with your balls.  Nothing speaks volume when you trump somebody with your balls.  Think of all the gossip that old club would generate.  Why balls would be the hot topic at the Christmas ball.  Bring your personalized balls along and show them off.  You will be the envy of those who forgot to bring their own balls.  Show off the personal imprints on your balls and talk about how much your balls cost.  Take photos and post them on Facebook and Twitter, because there is nothing more satisfying than sharing your balls to the masses.

Well now that I am done with my latest genius marketing plot, I decided to finally look up BDSM on Wikipedia.  Oh my!  Pain and submission, well that certainly describes my golf game.  As for my 50 pack, I just like displaying my balls in a collectors case on the wall.

Geez, get your mind out of the gutter and your balls out of the sand trap!