I was part of the first Doomsday back on 12/31/99 with the snappy acronym of Y2K. I was a technology consultant for the end of times. Now I have to replay Doomsday all over again, except it’s not until 12/21/12. Notice all the 1’s and 2’s? Well, that’s the doom of your time. But I read today in USA Today, about all those that are prepping for this year’s Doomsday and how they have a reality show for it. Huh? If it really is Doomsday, doesn’t that mean end of times for everyone? So I am now preparing for Doomsday II too. Just buy all my products and self-help DIYDD books (Do It Yourself DoomsDay.) Snappy acronym isn’t it? You won’t need your money, you young preppies so you have no worries. I even have Doomsday for Dummies, Dumb Doomsday Zombies, and Vexed Doomsday Vampires – all sure to be best-sellers.
But since the Mayans are no longer around, hasn’t doomsday already taken place? They left great resort cities behind so that we, the survivors, can enjoy fun in the sun and some relaxing Agave nectar. I bet those same Mayans also wrote best-selling books and products and laughed all the way to the bank.
Even if doomsday is coming, can someone please just extend it, like a tax return? The Hobbit, Part I is set to release just prior to the end of the world. Can it be extended to, say, April 14th, 2014? That way I can see The Hobbit, Part II as well, enjoy three more New Year’s Eve parties AND avoid filing a tax return on April 15th. Then just let the extension end, or renew it; Congress knows this act.
As for a reality show, maybe Comedy Central should pick up Season II – Surviving Doomsday. I only wish the Monty Python group was still young enough to take on this topic. I can just see John Cleese as a professor talking about the Mayan calendar on April 15th, 2012 and then comes in Eric Idle with an Inca calendar that ends on 4/14/14. Then, Michael Palin arrives with his Aztec calendar that ended on 12/31/99. All three of them will be arguing over the end of the world. Finally, they realize the Aztec calendar had already passed, and follow me now, Cleese sounds off:
“You’re a fraud! If 12/31/99 was Doomsday you wouldn’t be standing here!”
Palin retorts, “I got better! It was only a flesh wound!”
Oh let’s not go to 2012 Doomsday, it is such a silly date.
