I read the news on a daily basis so that I can immediately find something satirical to write about. Usually there is something in the news that is reported and then everyone in the bandwagon falls out. In this case it’s about delivery drones. I kidded around on Facebook about a pizza delivery colliding with an Amazon book order delivery. I should have guessed someone was way ahead of me, as the photo above proves. They are already delivering pizza via drone.
This begs the obvious, do I tip the drone? Will the drone be playing my favorite music or will its rap tune drown out the neighborhood? Will it be on time and what discount do I get if not delivered on time? How many pizza drones will be airborne on Superbowl Sunday? Will I need to hire an air traffic controller and submit a drone flight plan to the FAA? Can I wear a nifty little pilot’s cap?
What happens if an eagle steals my airborne order? These are the real world questions that need to be answered. I can see it now, Christmas 2014 – a squadron of drones delivering my wife’s Amazon orders and crashing into each other. Or the daytime sun blocked out by the countless horde of drones. Who programs these drones, an army of geeks behind little cubicles, or is this a way to find jobs for all the unemployed video game addicts?
What about pirate drones? Where there’s a will to use technology for economic purposes, there is a greater will to steal it with anti-drone technology. What if a drone goes rogue? Can I order a anti-drone surface-to-air missile rogue protection system?
What if the Terminator appears at my door trying to compete?
Pick me! Pick me!
And if you pick me I get a scholarship to Nice, France.
I also noticed iRobot has new commercials out now, “iRobot, do you?” Will tempers flare between drones, the terminator and iRobot, as well as the complete family of iApples? I tell you, mark my words, it’s the start of the rise of the machines.
What if I’m not interested in answering the door as I watch The Hobbit for the 150th time? Will the drone take over my television? “I know you are in there, I see you!” What if it takes pictures of me, hovering over my pool and Photoshops me to extort me from my last dime?
Someone has to ask these questions! So, with all this in mind, what questions do you want to know?
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