LMBO and other absurd acronyms / symbols

When someone types LMBO, what does it mean? Have you ever seen anyone laugh a butt off? If you find the secret, open a new gym called The Laugh Gym. Does anyone ever type SMBU (Shake My Booty Up) or LYBO (Laugh Your Butt Off)? It sounds all hip and trendy to me. You’ve read my interpretation on OMG and WTF, butt (sic) let’s explore other absurd acronyms and keyboard symbols:

ROFL – Rolling On Floor Lover
LOL – Loud Obnoxious Laughter
🙂 – Notice the long tight nose? Is that someone smiling after a nose job?
#@$% – I assume this is a 4-letter word and the person is just being polite. Or, is it Female Code for Bring Pounds of Money for the 50% sale at Macy’s?
😕 – Is this someone who has 1/2 of a mustache?
☺♥☻ – Is this someone who loves tanning booths?

My point is simple, why don’t we spell out the words anymore? Emoticons, decepticons, ridiculicons and other cons have taken away our ability to communicate effectively leading to the law of unintended consequences and unnecessary misinterpretations. What if I received a text message that said “C U 2nite honey, BTW UR blog post had me ROFL ☺♥☻” or I sent my wife the following “CU 2Nite, glad you like the post, you needed 2 LYBO”

As you can see those two text messages would result in tragic news on the 6 o’clock news. “In tonight’s top news, husband and wife double homicide reported on east side. Investigators still baffled by the cause. Cell phone records indicate a completely clueless and confused couple.”

So as I have said before, if someone types LMBO do not go there. “Not with ten thousand men should you do such a thing, it is pure folly!” Now go LYBO and send me a payment for the franchise fee for my laugh gym concept.