{"id":765,"date":"2012-11-11T10:37:31","date_gmt":"2012-11-11T16:37:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=765"},"modified":"2012-11-11T10:37:31","modified_gmt":"2012-11-11T16:37:31","slug":"golf-indigestion-november-edition-winter-golf","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=765","title":{"rendered":"Golf Indigestion – November Edition (Winter Golf)"},"content":{"rendered":"

As we near the winter months I recall having (emphasis on had) friends who would golf year round.\u00a0 This means golfing on rock hard frozen ground.\u00a0 Do you how bad it hurts when you dig your iron into the ground and it doesn’t budge?\u00a0 This is when you learn about seismology, as the quake travels up your arm and into your head, loosening many of your teeth. I am certain this is how Fixadent was invented. Who in their right mind needs to golf year round?\u00a0 It’s one thing if you are Jack Nicklaus and can afford to golf in Hawaii.\u00a0 It’s another when you golf on the frozen shores next to Lake Onacheekobee in the Yukon territory.\u00a0 Well at least the balls are never lost in the water.<\/p>\n

Winter is for reading and shining your balls <\/a>for the country club party.\u00a0 Although reading about golf is as useless to me as watching it on television, even on a 60″ HDTV.\u00a0 I’m an accountant and reading golf is far worse than reading the journal of accountancy.\u00a0 Both are excellent sleep aids. My friends would also go to the putting greens and driving ranges, anything to get their fix of golf.\u00a0 I’m a basketball player, which is great for the winter months.\u00a0 My friends?\u00a0 Heck no, basketball would require sweating and losing a few pounds.\u00a0 I suppose the extra weight is what allows them to have much further drives than mine.<\/p>\n

Winter is also for boasting to new friends who know nothing of your game and immediately think you are a golfing god when talk about all the birdies you sunk.\u00a0 This is when I chime in that I am a Wilt Chamberlain golfer.\u00a0 That’s right, the only man ever to score 100 points in a game.\u00a0 Okay you are scratching your head.\u00a0 I can hear it.\u00a0 I have never, ever shot a score less than 100.\u00a0 Thus my relation to Wilt Chamberlain.\u00a0 Why I continue to golf is beyond my usual logical and rational thinking.\u00a0 The game is costly now more than ever.\u00a0 I’ve lovingly nicknamed my new driver “401(k).”\u00a0 I try to convince myself that I play for my sanity and health.\u00a0 Then I laugh my ass off.\u00a0 We ride electric golf carts for 4 hours and then down a few beers at the nineteenth hole.\u00a0 Some shape I’m getting into.<\/p>\n

My game of golf sucks enough in the spring, summer and fall, but in the winter the indigestion is much colder and is thriving for my Dentists 401(k).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As we near the winter months I recall having (emphasis on had) friends who would golf year round.\u00a0 This means golfing on rock hard frozen ground.\u00a0 Do you how bad it hurts when you dig your iron into the ground and it doesn’t budge?\u00a0 This is when you learn about seismology, as the quake travels […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[56,351,546,646],"class_list":{"0":"post-765","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-golf-indigestion","7":"tag-401k","8":"tag-dentist","9":"tag-golf","10":"tag-humor","11":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/765","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=765"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/765\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=765"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=765"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=765"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}