{"id":753,"date":"2012-11-12T11:29:16","date_gmt":"2012-11-12T17:29:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=753"},"modified":"2012-11-12T11:29:16","modified_gmt":"2012-11-12T17:29:16","slug":"female-code-november-edition-ra-gene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=753","title":{"rendered":"Female Code – November Edition (RA Gene)"},"content":{"rendered":"

November is my anniversary month.\u00a0 On the 21st, I will officially have been married for 32 years. Yes, 32 years, 11,680 days, or 280,320 hours, and 1 trillion seconds.\u00a0 I prepared a speech for Toastmasters in October titled: The Female Code, to which I received zero female votes for best speech.\u00a0 In that speech I referred to the one female gene that cannot be engineered or mutated.\u00a0 The RA gene (Remembers Anniversary) is the strongest gene in the never ending and mutating set of female genes.\u00a0 Men do not have an RA gene, so I have an excuse.\u00a0 Remember we men have only the 5F gene that controls everything:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Food<\/li>\n
  2. Football<\/li>\n
  3. Fixing Things<\/li>\n
  4. Fooling around, and<\/li>\n
  5. Fatherhood<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Now if females can somehow splice and mutate their RA gene with the 4th trait of the male 5F gene, we would have world peace.\u00a0 You see we men have fooling around on our minds for over 100 trillion seconds of our life expectancy.\u00a0 We can’t help it, it was in our genes the day we climbed out of the slime.\u00a0 You ladies just need to deal with it, you are not going to change or mutate us. Frustrate yes, mutate no.<\/p>\n

    After 32 years and 1 trillion seconds, our most favorite thing to do to celebrate is to go on road trips.\u00a0 To see and do things before we can’t remember who the heck we are.\u00a0 If I make it to our 50th anniversary I am sure I won’t know who is standing before me until she rants that I didn’t get her a thing or take her anywhere.\u00a0 At that point somewhere in my uncomplicated brain, a neuron will randomly fire an electric charge and I will remember the pain of not remembering our anniversary.<\/p>\n

    There is a reason women outlive men, it’s their DNA.\u00a0 There are too many mutated genes sending out confusing signals that are constantly at war within.\u00a0 When they finally do catch up and interpret the signals, the woman is doomed.\u00a0 My wife and I love watching House MD.\u00a0 If he can’t figure this out, I’m sure not trying.<\/p>\n

    Happy 32nd anniversary Tracy Greenlee.\u00a0 I love you, you beautiful mutant.<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    November is my anniversary month.\u00a0 On the 21st, I will officially have been married for 32 years. Yes, 32 years, 11,680 days, or 280,320 hours, and 1 trillion seconds.\u00a0 I prepared a speech for Toastmasters in October titled: The Female Code, to which I received zero female votes for best speech.\u00a0 In that speech I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[109,369,646,1350],"class_list":{"0":"post-753","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-female-code","7":"tag-anniversary","8":"tag-dna","9":"tag-humor","10":"tag-women","11":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=753"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/753\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}