{"id":520,"date":"2012-06-20T13:04:34","date_gmt":"2012-06-20T18:04:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=520"},"modified":"2012-06-20T13:04:34","modified_gmt":"2012-06-20T18:04:34","slug":"zombie-golf-tournaments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=520","title":{"rendered":"Zombie Golf Tournaments"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a thought for new twist to the zombie genre &#8211; how about zombie golfers?  Just think of the excitement!   Here&#8217;s a sample of the commentary of the Zombie Invitational in Zurich hosted by Zombax.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Tom is getting ready to tee off.  Oops his decaying control arm just fell off.  There goes his big Bertha driver right into the head of a fan.  But she&#8217;s still clapping.  Oops now his power arm!  It is not going to be a good day for Tom.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Jack looks nervous, he didn&#8217;t realize this tournament was for zombies and now the crowd which had gathered around him for a sixty foot putt, are now pulling him from limb to limb, splashing on a little Chipotle Barbecue sauce.  And now we literally can say we don&#8217;t know Jack anymore.  Silence! Please, no burping while others line up their putts.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Arnold rests just outside the fairway in tall grass with pecan trees nearby.  Oh my, there he goes &#8211; chasing after fresh and lively squirrels!  That will be a penalty for sure. But he appears to be discouraged as a werewolf beat him to the kill.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Fans take a break, while the players on the 18th fairway crawl to the green, and flock to the concession stands for light finger foods, fried eyeballs and zesty hot-toes. Now back to the action!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Trigger was run over and over again by his wife. She just couldn&#8217;t kill him with her cart. So she just ate him.  And he was playing so well today!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And standing on the winners pavilion is Werner Brautswortz receiving the trophy from the lovely and freshly rotted zombie queen &#8211; apiza.  Ooh, looks like Werner couldn&#8217;t resist himself and is now getting him a slice of apiza.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Thank you coming to the Zombie Invitational.  Please continue the festivities inside the 19th hole while you get an autographed copy of world famous author E.W. Greenlee&#8217;s newest smash hit &#8220;The Zombie Groin &#8211; How I took down a zombie horde with my nine iron.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I love being creative! Now it&#8217;s your turn! See what short narrative you can add to this insanely absurd and rotting tournament.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a thought for new twist to the zombie genre &#8211; how about zombie golfers? Just think of the excitement! Here&#8217;s a sample of the commentary of the Zombie Invitational in Zurich hosted by Zombax. &#8220;Tom is getting ready to tee off. Oops his decaying control arm just fell off. There goes his big Bertha [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,23],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-520","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-golf-indigestion","7":"category-humor","8":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/520","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=520"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/520\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=520"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=520"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=520"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}