{"id":4016,"date":"2018-01-05T09:02:39","date_gmt":"2018-01-05T15:02:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=4016"},"modified":"2024-02-17T22:53:38","modified_gmt":"2024-02-17T22:53:38","slug":"200k-followers-guaranteed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=4016","title":{"rendered":"200K Followers Guaranteed"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Puppy\"
#Puppy #Ransom<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Remember when Twitter was having difficulties, but now it’s back big time?\u00a0 I joined Twitter to sell books and direct traffic here to my humor posts.\u00a0 I only have 4K followers, but noticed that new followers are always direct messaging me on how to gain thousands of followers for a few bucks.\u00a0 They have about 190K followers, other members also trying to sell you followers, which means followers are following followers.\u00a0 I’ve also noticed that Twitter is now hyper-political and hyper-nasty, the more nastier your comments the more your followers, hmmm…<\/p>\n

So with his in mind, here are a few guaranteed nasty post techniques to get you more followers than you ever imagined possible.\u00a0 No matter what party affiliation you are, play both sides, because then each side will follow you to see what you will say next.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. “Oh yeah, well I have your #puppy held for #ransom.”<\/em> Attach cute puppy meme.\u00a0 Everyone loves puppies.\u00a0 They’ll read this and whisper, “What the ….” and then look at your profile and send a follow request.\u00a0 Pound Puppy was my son’s favorite toy as a infant and toddler so I have an emotional attachment to this. PETA will also follow you, the ASPA, Humane Society, etc.\u00a0 #Ransom will have every crime prevention organization noticing you and following to see if you are actually Guido Chapo, the notorious Italian Mexican crime lord.\u00a0 Crime Cartels will follow you to see if they can get into your cartel due to your popularity.\u00a0 See how this works?\u00a0 All of a sudden politics and the Kardashians will be usurped and supplanted.<\/li>\n
  2. “Your #mother was a #hamster and your #father an #elderberry #bush!”<\/em>\u00a0 Again, this is a “What the ….” lead generation tool. Attach sweet little old mother and father photo.\u00a0 Everyone loves their mother and father, possibly a Hamster that was accidentally flushed down the toilet, sweet elderberries, and a nicely shaped but inexpensive shrubbery.\u00a0 If they correlate #Bush with the president Bush, then there you go, fire up the angst or support and gain 100,000 followers hanging on your next comment.<\/li>\n
  3. #Spigot #Gracious #Tater #Promophobe<\/em>.\u00a0 Set people really on fire with these jewels.\u00a0 It’s proven fact that words can launch a war, even if there is no context to those words. Even words that sound like words that ignite hate can be used to fool someone.\u00a0 One side will love you and other side will hate you, who cares, 200,000+ followers guaranteed.\u00a0 Yes, I have a fear of promotional ads and taters. Eh.. what’s taters presicousss, what’s taters?\u00a0 I do a great Gollum impersonation, but I digress.<\/li>\n
  4. “U R #Stupid so #Stupid U R #Stupidier than the “Stupidiest”<\/em>\u00a0 This will attract all the grammar nazi’s, summa cum laudes, and those with Phd’s who feel compelled to fulfill something meaningful in life by exorcising you of your lack of intellect and vocabulary demons, word usage, sentence length, semi-superlative phobopronouns, etc. Yes I have a fear of pronouns too.<\/li>\n
  5. #Laugh be #Happy #Damnit <\/em>Then there are those who simply want to stay enraged, so any suggestion of laughter or happiness will enrage them any further.\u00a0 They follow if only to post #FU, but hey it’s still a follower.<\/li>\n
  6. It’s only #Politics #God bless u<\/em>\u00a0 Finally, both sides live and breathe politics, one side is anti-God and another pro-God, so you’ve got both sides covered now arguing with each other over your post, forgetting who you ever were – what a blessing.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    As you can see you will have 160 billion followers in no time.\u00a0 What?\u00a0 You say there is only 7.6 billion people in the world.\u00a0 You forget all the fake accounts they sell you generated by an AI engine looking for all the hashtags above and those who flock to the ones with the most retweets and likes.<\/p>\n

    As you can see, I will do just about everything to sell my books.\u00a0 Please #Retweet this and I promise not to #DM you, I have a fear of that too, may #God help me.\u00a0 Oh look, two new followers!<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Remember when Twitter was having difficulties, but now it’s back big time?\u00a0 I joined Twitter to sell books and direct traffic here to my humor posts.\u00a0 I only have 4K followers, but noticed that new followers are always direct messaging me on how to gain thousands of followers for a few bucks.\u00a0 They have about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[646,985,987,1275,1276],"class_list":{"0":"post-4016","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"tag-humor","8":"tag-political-humor","9":"tag-politics","10":"tag-twitter","11":"tag-twitter-humor","12":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4016","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4016"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4016\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4156,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4016\/revisions\/4156"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4016"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4016"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4016"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}