{"id":3475,"date":"2017-03-17T17:47:12","date_gmt":"2017-03-17T22:47:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=3475"},"modified":"2017-03-17T17:47:12","modified_gmt":"2017-03-17T22:47:12","slug":"whats-in-a-trillion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=3475","title":{"rendered":"What’s in a Trillion?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Cliff\"
The Fiscal Cliff<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Some of you might already know that I am a CPA and financial advisor.\u00a0 I try to look past political arguments and look at facts, not hype. In 2010 at an annual conference that gathered over 1,000 nerdy CPA’s into one room, we listened to David Walker, the former Comptroller General of the United States give us accountants the true status of the federal finances.\u00a0 We have two components people might want to understand.\u00a0 The first is the accumulated deficits, also known as the national debt -which today is at $20 trillion.\u00a0 The second component\u00a0 is called an unfunded liability, or to be exact, money needed to pay promises – which today is around $100 trillion.\u00a0 So the true position is around $120 trillion in the negative.<\/p>\n

$(120,000,000,000,000)<\/span><\/h2>\n

Try putting this into your calculator or Excel.\u00a0 Guess what, it errors out. Excel returns (1.2E+14) which mean one too many errors to the 14th power.\u00a0 Now you would think our politicians would recognize this error, but they’re mostly lawyers and awful with numbers, by convenience, I’m sure.\u00a0 They just pass laws then expect billionaires to pay a fair share.\u00a0 According to Forbes there were 1,810 billionaires in 2016.\u00a0 540 of these billionaires resided in the USA.\u00a0 Here is the next mathematical issue to solve, how many billions are in one trillion?\u00a0 Here’s the solution, there are 1,000 billions in just one trillion.\u00a0 So from first grade you simply add the three zeros to the 120 trillion and you get 120,000 thousand billions – holly gazillion Batman!\u00a0 So if we compare rotten apples to rotten apples, we need a bunch more billionaires here in the USA.\u00a0 So here are some concrete solutions to this mathematical and fiscal problem:<\/p>\n

50 Shades of Billionaires<\/strong><\/p>\n

We don’t need kinky sex, we just need sex that creates a lot of babies born into billionaire lifestyles.\u00a0 So get busy, we need 119,460 to be exact.<\/p>\n

Lie and Lie a Lot<\/strong><\/p>\n

Downplay the debt and poof, like Lucky Charms, the math just magically disappears.\u00a0 Make promises that the issues will be fixed 50 years from now, after they are dead and can’t be hunted down.\u00a0 You see politicians take continuing education courses on creative lying (which for many has more than one meaning).<\/p>\n

Let the Press Secretary Handle It<\/strong><\/p>\n

These folks are zombies, who cares if they get mauled by the press corps when they answer questions like this one,<\/p>\n

“I’m EW Greenlee from CIMinsane TV, the CBO says by 2023 autopilot spending will return to trillion dollar deficits.\u00a0 What is the administration going to do about it”?<\/em><\/p>\n

The response,<\/p>\n

“Well, we are going to fire Otto and his pilot.\u00a0 But on the tax front we are giving the new BBEC, the billionaire baby earned credit.\u00a0 Any billionaire bearing 100,000 babies will get a dollar-for-dollar tax credit.\u00a0 We are also lifting the ban on billionaires entering our country and they may simply knock on the VIP door and repeat the following, three times, while clicking their heals, walking a straight line, while juggling – I\u00a0 want the BBEC.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Borrow More From China and Jupiter<\/strong><\/p>\n

When the debt ceiling is yet again reached we can simply fill out our Chinese credit extension application to Zind Yau Mony.<\/p>\n

When that fails, send a request to Yurxod$&*@ – Finance Minister, Province of Big Raging Red Storm, Jupiter – a subsidiary of Fast Payaday Loan, Hoboken, NJ – a subsidiary of the Federal Reserve – a subsidiary of the Treasury Department – loaned out by China.<\/p>\n

Get the Government to Pay It Down<\/strong><\/p>\n

This would work if the government (Hint: look in a mirror) elected representatives to actually behave on behalf of the person in the mirror (Hint: you).\u00a0 This means every citizen needs a continuing education course titled:<\/p>\n

“We are the government.\u00a0 Oh Hell, who signed me up for this gig”?<\/em><\/p>\n

Send the Bill Due to the American Taxpayer<\/strong><\/p>\n

Another solution is to send every American citizen (aka, the Government), including their children, a bill for approximately $450,000.\u00a0 Why don’t they do this now?\u00a0 Because have you ever seen a mob of 300,000,000?\u00a0 Politicians will then have to take an education course on how to pin everything on the press secretary, because bad news is the fault of the press.\u00a0 Yeah, yeah, that’s the ticket.<\/p>\n

The Roaring Twenties<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are not too many people who remember the roaring twenties.\u00a0 The hangover has lasted almost a century.\u00a0 But now that people are sobering up, the party of the 2020’s is about to begin.\u00a0 So the final solution to the ever growing astronomical numbers, is just to get drunk again.\u00a0 Party like it’s 2029!<\/p>\n

So Luann, next time your teacher ask you what’s in a trillion, you can\u00a0 recite the useful data in this blog. You will get an A+.\u00a0 You see, I took law in college too.<\/p>\n

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s not a very funny humor blog, but how are people going to digest the numbers?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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