{"id":3191,"date":"2017-03-10T12:54:57","date_gmt":"2017-03-10T18:54:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=3191"},"modified":"2017-03-10T12:54:57","modified_gmt":"2017-03-10T18:54:57","slug":"franklymydearidontgiveadamnday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=3191","title":{"rendered":"#FranklyMyDearIDontGiveADamnDay"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Alien\"<\/p>\n

Catchy hashtag, eh?<\/p>\n

As a writer of both insane humor and satire, and even serious fantasy, you have to get noticed. This means you write about things in current society that have emotive effect, such as a mob of women, dressed in red clothing, pink bunny hats (oh wait, those are post labiaplasty hats), with faces equally red from anger – all directed at you.\u00a0 This is what I do.\u00a0 Dave Barry might do so or even Jon Stewart might and everyone would clap with excitement over their comic genius. \u00a0 This is my attempt, so please leave your pitchforks and axes at home.\u00a0 Let’s begin, shall we?<\/p>\n

Get your inner Rhett Butler on by proclaiming the day after #InternationalWomensDay that you are a self-sufficient man by tweeting #FranklyMyDearIDontGiveADamnDay.\u00a0 This will be immediately responded to by your wife or girlfriend with,<\/p>\n

#MakeThatWithoutAWomanEverydayDAY!<\/p>\n

or<\/p>\n

#MakeYourOwnDinnerAfterYourPS4SafeSpaceDay.<\/p>\n

Be careful what you ask for, it may come true.<\/p>\n

You see Twitter has become a communication app for tit-for-tat social warfare.\u00a0 Some of the things I read are horrible, but even when someone attempts sarcasm or satire, your rights to freedom of expression can set off a firestorm.\u00a0 This is why I blog, no one reads this, so I can spout off anything that crosses my mind to get it permanently off my mind.\u00a0 Yet, we all need to laugh more, even at ourselves.\u00a0 We are letting politics control our lives and our dispositions toward our fellow human being.\u00a0 Many are using hashtags like #Revolt and #Resist.\u00a0 Try this instead,<\/p>\n

#ResistOreosICantICantICant<\/p>\n

Lighten up just a little.\u00a0 Now that the CIA is recording everything we say or do, develop a little sense of humor about it.<\/p>\n

#CIA #OMG I just typed #QWERTY by accident and a horde of bug-eyed aliens from the hemorrhoid system have announced their invasion #Revolt\u00a0 #Resistance<\/p>\n

They will see this and immediately block you.\u00a0 See, I’ve got all the answers.\u00a0 You can pay me later.<\/p>\n

All you have to do is break the CIA’s data storage facilities with at least 50 very silly tweets per day. Get your Monty Python silliness surging to 100% and let it rip. \u00a0 They’ll think you’re passing secrets in some form of alien re-engineered code and it will drive their decipher analysts bonkers. I’m not saying it’s aliens, but it’s aliens. Better yet, be nice to your fellow human being.\u00a0 Naw, where’s the fun in that?<\/p>\n

I leave you with one final tweet of wisdom to provide all my readers with some comfort.<\/p>\n

#LoveThyNeighbor\u00a0 because tomorrow the #QWERTY #Bugeyed #WeeWeeKiLeaking #HemorrhoidAliens invade. #Resist #Resist #Resist #EatOreos<\/p>\n

If you fit into any shape or form of the words I used in the tweet above and are offended, I apologize, especially to the Oreo.<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Catchy hashtag, eh? As a writer of both insane humor and satire, and even serious fantasy, you have to get noticed. This means you write about things in current society that have emotive effect, such as a mob of women, dressed in red clothing, pink bunny hats (oh wait, those are post labiaplasty hats), with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,27],"tags":[96,267,596,737,843,934,1048,1275],"class_list":{"0":"post-3191","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-humor","7":"category-life-in-general","8":"tag-aliens","9":"tag-cia","10":"tag-hashtags-you-would-like-to-see","11":"tag-labiaplasty","12":"tag-monty-python","13":"tag-oreos","14":"tag-rhett-butler","15":"tag-twitter","16":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3191","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3191"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3191\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3191"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3191"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3191"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}