{"id":2941,"date":"2015-03-16T17:50:16","date_gmt":"2015-03-16T22:50:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=2941"},"modified":"2024-02-10T23:30:51","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T23:30:51","slug":"female-code-march-2015-maleopause","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=2941","title":{"rendered":"Female Code – March 2015 (Maleopause)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Football<\/a>
Sexopause – really?!\u00a0 Milleniumopause – you get my drift now buddy?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

To give equal time to the opposite sex, I’ve placed my mind into the role of a menopausal woman (God help me!) to counter debate my Man Club post titled “Naggopause<\/a>.”\u00a0 So without further interruption, the following 10 words have now been genetically engineered into\u00a0the mutant genes of\u00a0women everywhere, through menopause supplements such as chocolate and wussy flavored coffees, as a way to communicate with their husbands.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Gameopause<\/span> – that period of time where you are standing in a baby doll\u00a0and you throw the Xbox out the window.\u00a0 Here you scream at the top of your lungs –“You want an end to the sexopause or not?!”<\/em><\/li>\n
  2. Maleopause<\/span> – that period you don’t want him anywhere near you.\u00a0 Just hold up a hand to his face and gently whisper “Maleopause.”\u00a0<\/em> He will get this as a sign that if he does\u00a0not run, serious bodily damage is about to take place.<\/li>\n
  3. Milleniumopause<\/span> – the word used to tell him\u00a0to stop nagging about the lack of sex, or he\u00a0won’t get any for 12 centuries. Touche!<\/li>\n
  4. Shadeopause<\/span> – That period when a woman hits the age of age 80 and is ready for sex and all that 50 Shades has to offer.\u00a0 This is also the period of time she feeds you well, exercises with you, and then ties you up to kill you, using your vast wealth from saveopause to hire Fernando DeGuicheeCoochee, her 40 year old slave and gardener.\u00a0 (again, I’m just thinking like an menopausal woman).<\/li>\n
  5. Brazierreopause<\/span> – that period where she flings her bra at you.\u00a0 Do not be deceived, she is not telling you she wants sex, she’s hinting that your man-breasts are sagging and your identity as a man is in serious jeopardy.\u00a0 She may pull out\u00a0a whip from her spendopause period and enter shadeopause at the same time, demanding you firm your bad boy twins up. Egads!<\/li>\n
  6. NASCARopause<\/span> – for the love of god man!\u00a0 You’ll spend all day watching a car go around in circles, but can’t wash your own?\u00a0 You want the naggopause to start?\u00a0 Then shape up.<\/li>\n
  7. Duckopause<\/span> – no you can’t just change channels to avoid the naggopause.\u00a0 Get off your arse!\u00a0 If he hears this she might go\u00a0all 50 Shades with your duck caller and permanently affix to your anatomy, which leads to the next male period of life\u00a0.<\/li>\n
  8. Fartopause<\/span> – when the dynasty ducko call sounds, it’s her signal that you are entering your gassy period and for her to enter spendopause.<\/li>\n
  9. Meatloafopause<\/span> – if you’re nagging about sexopause continues, this is the period of time where meatloaf becomes a daily staple –\u00a0increasing fartopause, spendopause, and maleopause.<\/li>\n
  10. Divorceopause<\/span> – that period of time when a woman can bring a man to his knees, without whips.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And there you have it, ten new words that\u00a0women everywhere will be talking about tomorrow.\u00a0 They will comment here about how uncanny I am in\u00a0reading their menopausal minds.<\/p>\n

    Now I’ll just take a pause from all this\u00a0writing genius.\u00a0 You are welcome.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      To give equal time to the opposite sex, I’ve placed my mind into the role of a menopausal woman (God help me!) to counter debate my Man Club post titled “Naggopause.”\u00a0 So without further interruption, the following 10 words have now been genetically engineered into\u00a0the mutant genes of\u00a0women everywhere, through menopause supplements such as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4129,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[135,432,433,456,646,813,891,1097,1356],"class_list":{"0":"post-2941","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-female-code","8":"tag-baby-dolls","9":"tag-ew-greenlee","10":"tag-excessive-meatloaf","11":"tag-fashion","12":"tag-humor","13":"tag-menopausal-humor","14":"tag-nascar","15":"tag-sex","16":"tag-xbox","17":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/allivarcreative.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/FemaleCode1.png?fit=264%2C419&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2941","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2941"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2941\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4131,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2941\/revisions\/4131"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}