I am going to go out on a limb today and ponder a question.\u00a0 Is the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey a reflection of a bored society?<\/p>\n
As a writer, it is my attempt to understand human nature so that I can provide a narrative to connect with readers emotions.\u00a0 I ‘ve have not only read, but have been told that the book will spice up a marriage.\u00a0 Are marriages in that much trouble?\u00a0 I recall watching the movie based on Phillipa Gregory’s novel, \u00a0“The Other Boleyn Girl”, in a scene Anne confides with her sister that she finds herself doing the most unspeakable sexual acts to keep Henry’s attention in her.\u00a0 I found this scene rather interesting, in the fact, that some women believe getting kinky is the way to keep a man’s attention in her.\u00a0 Is this the message young women and middle aged women are lead to believe is the secret to lasting love in the modern era?\u00a0 Some have suggested since I haven’t read the story, I have no room to critique it. I beg to differ.\u00a0\u00a0I asked one of my friend’s wife would she sign a contract with a man she barely knows to agree to never speak about what is done in the bedroom?\u00a0 What is the triggering signal that something is not\u00a0right?\u00a0 Somehow the backstory to Christian’s life\u00a0and\u00a0his abuse justifies the story line.<\/p>\n
Let me\u00a0give women\u00a0something to ponder.\u00a0 You read it in the news everyday, where some guy rapes a woman because he felt the woman was in the “right frame of mind.”\u00a0 Where does this male thinking come from – movies, books, music, or conversations at the company water cooler?\u00a0 Are men in the right frame of mind when we hear that 50 shades will “spice up” the bedroom?\u00a0 How far should our experimentations go?<\/p>\n
My wife and I discuss these topics often.\u00a0\u00a0For 35 years we have\u00a0openly discussed sex and love.\u00a0 With a divorce rate of\u00a0over 50%, will kinky sex decrease the trend, or will we opt out of a marriage\u00a0as the easy excuse to justify when\u00a0our partners no longer interest us?\u00a0 We will continue to pretend that our careers and material possessions provide us happiness?\u00a0 Will we find ourselves with the thought that\u00a0a sexual partner’s\u00a0only purpose\u00a0is to provide\u00a0self satisfaction?\u00a0 Will women still believe they can “change” a bad boy?<\/p>\n
I have read\u00a0women defend the book as pure fiction.\u00a0 Avatar too is complete\u00a0fiction, yet many\u00a0people suffered bouts depression after watching the movie.\u00a0\u00a0Sales of adult toys are at record highs.\u00a0 Pure fiction? The human mind is affected by\u00a0many things. What we see, what we hear and what we read will impact us.\u00a0Young minds interpret the signals differently. \u00a0My wife’s aunt was incredulous because we had no intention of seeing\u00a0the movie, as though we wouldn’t have anything to\u00a0discuss\u00a0in social gatherings.\u00a0 Are we truly this bored?<\/p>\n
My perceptions of love are very different.\u00a0 I am throwback to a different time.\u00a0 I am an educated man, I recall much of what I learned in college including Maslow’s hierarchy, as\u00a0described as follows:<\/p>\n
1. Physiological needs, such as needs for food, sleep and air.<\/p>\n
2. Safety, or the needs for security and protection, especially those that emerge from social or political instability.<\/p>\n
3. Belonging and love including, the needs of deficiency and selfish taking instead of giving, and unselfish love that is based upon growth rather than deficiency.<\/p>\n
4. Needs for self-esteem, self-respect, and healthy, positive feelings derived from admiration.<\/p>\n
5. And \u201cbeing\u201d needs concerning creative self-growth, engendered from fulfillment of potential and meaning in life.<\/p>\n
Maybe in the near future there will be a maturation in the stories our society wants to watch and read, supported by\u00a0music which brings more love out in us.\u00a0 When I was first listening to music as a teen in the 1970’s my favorite band was “Bread.”\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 It was at this time I began to notice the beauty of the opposite sex and how I felt when someone actually had interest in me.\u00a0 After being with a girlfriend, which meant maybe holding hands or exchanging a short kiss, I was euphoric and the words in the music matched those feelings.\u00a0 I discovered over the last few years a song by David Gates, that to me, expresses the highest level of love, of my own self-actualization, that one day I will leave this physical realm and be united for all eternity with my wife, whose smile to\u00a0this very day\u00a0can soften my anxieties.\u00a0 I still want to feel the softness of her hand and\u00a0take simple pleasure of displaying that love by holding her hand in public.\u00a0 She has my admiration and\u00a0respect when she is not in the mood.\u00a0 Am I bored?\u00a0Never.\u00a0\u00a0There is so much more to\u00a0life and love than sex and all its experimentations.\u00a0 Maybe it’s time to make your own\u00a050 shades of love list and share with your partner.<\/p>\n
[youtube=http:\/\/youtu.be\/_ETMCwO7ATo]<\/p>\n
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