{"id":2844,"date":"2014-09-30T16:25:33","date_gmt":"2014-09-30T21:25:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=2844"},"modified":"2014-09-30T16:25:33","modified_gmt":"2014-09-30T21:25:33","slug":"step-aside-james-alexander-malcom-mckenzie-fraser","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=2844","title":{"rendered":"Step Aside James Alexander Malcom McKenzie Fraser"},"content":{"rendered":"

My wife has been telling me about the series of books by Diana Gabaldon for quite some time.\u00a0 Now it’s on cable and I’ve been watching it with her.\u00a0 And damnit –\u00a0I like it!\u00a0 I didn’t want to, I really didn’t.\u00a0 Who wants to read about some manly Scot all sissified for wanton hussies?\u00a0 I mean really!\u00a0 Did you see the Wedding episode?\u00a0 Of course you hussies have, you’ve been wondering what corn grinding looks like for six episodes, so they gave you\u00a0one full hour of\u00a0slobbering whiskey filled bliss. (Pssst… Claire drinks too much).\u00a0 I think Claire needs a real Scottish man.\u00a0 So step aside James Alexander Malcom McKenzie Fraser… for Haggis McGoey Fernando Louis Ernie Hamish.<\/p>\n

Famous Hamish will do.<\/p>\n

\"FamousHamishCropped\"<\/a>
Haggis McGoey Fernando Louis Ernie Hamish<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

You want corn grinding?\u00a0\u00a0I’ll give you hash browns,\u00a0French toast,\u00a0\u00a0and cracker jack ring to boot!\u00a0 And stop with all the meme’s like “Save a Horse – Ride a Scot<\/em>“, or the\u00a0new series of “Hey Lassie…<\/em>”\u00a0 No real Scot or Scot wannabe would be caught dead saying those things.\u00a0Id ana gunna hap (Gaelic to English translation: Yo Girl it ain’t\u00a0gunna happen).\u00a0 Ye ken wanna id, but I canna du id.<\/p>\n

Seriously, I’ve been looking for someone with an evil trait, and Frank, I mean Black Jack fits just the bill.\u00a0 Except why didn’t he question Claire about who the Bloody Mary mix was Frank?\u00a0 You see I write fantasy, so I don’t have to tie my characters to history, I just make the stuff up as I go.\u00a0 This saves on the research and travel budget, which has been stuck on a corn grinding 99 cents.<\/p>\n

And really, a bunch of fairies dancing around a rock in the 1940’s?\u00a0 Puhleeze… how ridiculous is that?\u00a0 Change it to the\u00a01960’s or current day Colorado\u00a0and it’s totally believable.\u00a0 Then there’s the subject matter of James Alexander Malcom McKenzie Fraser’s hamburger helper torture scene.\u00a0 I’ve withstood numerous paper cuts and bled worse than that!\u00a0 Fainted too.<\/p>\n

Finally, for a couple of weeks they’ve been building up this wedding scene of\u00a0James Alexander Malcom McKenzie Fraser unraveling of the kilt, only to see the shadows cloak little Jamie.\u00a0 I bet you hussies were a little disappointed, weren’t you now?\u00a0My wife, immediately took me by English garrison surprise that night, much to my happiness.\u00a0\u00a0I thank you Diana.\u00a0 I’ve recorded it and play it nightly.\u00a0 It has saved my marriage from the pits of the Randall hell.\u00a0Just keep the dialogue less moments coming, and coming, and coming.\u00a0 But please, add a little fruit and protein to all\u00a0that grinding, man canna survive on corn.<\/p>\n

Long live\u00a0James Alexander Malcom McKenzie Fraser, who I now call “Bud.” Haggis McGoey Fernando Louis Ernie Hamish, who you can now\u00a0call me “Ham”,\u00a0thanks you too!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My wife has been telling me about the series of books by Diana Gabaldon for quite some time.\u00a0 Now it’s on cable and I’ve been watching it with her.\u00a0 And damnit –\u00a0I like it!\u00a0 I didn’t want to, I really didn’t.\u00a0 Who wants to read about some manly Scot all sissified for wanton hussies?\u00a0 I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,15,23],"tags":[690,722,943,1083],"class_list":{"0":"post-2844","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-ew-greenlee","7":"category-famous-hamish","8":"category-humor","9":"tag-james-alexander-malcom-mckenzie-fraser","10":"tag-kilts","11":"tag-outlander","12":"tag-scots","13":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2844","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2844"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2844\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}