{"id":2834,"date":"2014-06-11T12:29:35","date_gmt":"2014-06-11T17:29:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=2834"},"modified":"2014-06-11T12:29:35","modified_gmt":"2014-06-11T17:29:35","slug":"i-must-be-55","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=2834","title":{"rendered":"I Must Be 55!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"man-exercising\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I haven’t done much writing or blogging as of late, because I’m planning on moving to Kauai, Hawaii to enjoy the time I have left on this absurd ball of revolving fun.\u00a0Next week, I reach the\u00a0age of 55.\u00a0 I don’t dread it, instead I embrace life by attempting to approach its vulgarities with humor.\u00a0 I am a product of the 1970’s with rock groups like Queen, Foreigner, Bread and others influencing my musical taste.\u00a0 One group I loved was Montrose with little known musician Sammy Hagar.\u00a0 With hard rock riffs like “Rock Candy” and “Make it Last”, I was a young head-banging air guitarist hero.\u00a0 Well, in my own mind – I ROCKED!<\/p>\n

Sammy left Montrose to go solo and during that period of time, the powers that be,\u00a0dropped the speed limit to 55.\u00a0\u00a0I’m from West Texas where the next closest town is 250 miles.\u00a0 Do you know how excruciating\u00a0it is to go 55 in West Texas?\u00a0\u00a0I am sure Sammy drove this strip of scenery as his inspiration\u00a0for\u00a0his classic tune “I Can’t Drive 55.”<\/p>\n

So without further delay I present to you my patented, copyrighted and trademarked sing along rendition of,<\/p>\n

I MUST BE 55!<\/h1>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve changed my diet but now\u00a0I’m so full\u00a0of gas, hey!
\nI take loads of fiber and I still\u00a0can’t pass, no!
\nSo I tried my best Viagra induced\u00a0move
\nBut my wife fell asleep\u00a0and crushed my groove again! Oh\u00a0man!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
CHORUS:
\nGo on and\u00a0write me prescription number\u00a025
\nPump me full of\u00a0Cialis\u00a0and\u00a0Testosterone\u00a0to keep me alive
\nTake another pill when I break out in hives!
\nI must be – 55!\u00a0Oh No! Uh!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So I signed my name on number 24, hey!
\nMy doctor smiled and\u00a0said, “Boy, just one more
\nYour big ole\u00a0ass is going to break your joints”
\nLooked me in the eye, said, “You get my points?”
\nI said “Yeah!, Oh yea!”<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
CHORUS II:
\nGo on and\u00a0write me prescription number\u00a025
\nPump me full of\u00a0Cialis\u00a0and Testosterone\u00a0to keep me alive
\nTake another pill when I break out in hives!
\nI must be – 55!\u00a0Oh No! Uh!Oh, yea!I must be 55!
\nI must be 55!
\nI must be 55!
\nI must be 55!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I used to guzzle and slam down the\u00a0beer.
\nNow I’m so heavy I have a bumper for a rear.
\nI used\u00a0to work out for\u00a0two hours and now takes all day.
\nHuh – It takes me\u00a016 hours to color all the gray! Oh yay!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
CHORUS:
\nGo on and\u00a0write me prescription number\u00a025
\nPump me full of\u00a0Cialis\u00a0and\u00a0Testosterone\u00a0to keep me alive
\nTake another pill when I break out in hives!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I must be – 55!\u00a0Oh No! Uh!No, no, no, I don’t want to be 55!
\nStop mailing me the\u00a0AARP Jive!
\nI MUST BE\u00a0 –\u00a055!<\/p>\n

You may send well wishes (cash) if you enjoyed my little sing along.\u00a0 Who knows what 56 will bring – stay tuned.<\/p>\n

If you don’t know the beat and song I am referring to, YouTube will have you jamming and head banging.<\/p>\n

\n

[youtube=http:\/\/youtu.be\/RvV3nn_de2k]<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I haven’t done much writing or blogging as of late, because I’m planning on moving to Kauai, Hawaii to enjoy the time I have left on this absurd ball of revolving fun.\u00a0Next week, I reach the\u00a0age of 55.\u00a0 I don’t dread it, instead I embrace life by attempting to approach its vulgarities with humor.\u00a0 I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[268,421,646,656,925,1072,1115,1172,1209,1295],"class_list":{"0":"post-2834","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"tag-cialis","8":"tag-erectile-dysfunction","9":"tag-humor","10":"tag-i-cant-drive-55","11":"tag-old-age","12":"tag-sammy-hagar","13":"tag-sing-along","14":"tag-stop-aarp","15":"tag-testoserone","16":"tag-viagra","17":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2834","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2834"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2834\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2834"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2834"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2834"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}