{"id":2830,"date":"2014-04-19T12:17:15","date_gmt":"2014-04-19T17:17:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=2830"},"modified":"2014-04-19T12:17:15","modified_gmt":"2014-04-19T17:17:15","slug":"the-origin-and-evolution-of","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=2830","title":{"rendered":"The Origin and Evolution of …….."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"man-screaming-290x216\"<\/a>
Who Ate My Bunga Binga Bronto Burger?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Have you ever sat back and wondered how things are the way they are?\u00a0 Yes, I know that’s really deep without enough coffee, but give it thought every so often, it’s fun!\u00a0 For example, when did man discover marijuana?\u00a0 I discovered it in high school and ended it in early college.\u00a0 It was not my thing, but it still makes me wonder how the heck it was discovered and made a part of today’s inebriated state of life.\u00a0 Was it a burning bush that a caveman stood next to get warm and then realized – “DUDE!\u00a0 This is awesome!<\/em>”\u00a0 Then he yells out to Unga, his wife, “Unga DUDE, come check this out!”<\/em><\/p>\n

But as Unga appears\u00a0the wind direction changes, Unga stands there warming herself\u00a0while Ugga, her husband, is acting so strange eating twigs and dino droppings in\u00a0an insatiable manner.\u00a0 “Okaaay, what’s so great about fire?\u00a0 We discovered fire many moons ago!\u00a0 Fire good, dino dingleberries, not good.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Unga then clubs\u00a0him up the backside of his head, “Snap out of it and fetch us a slab of Bronto BBQ, me Unga hungry.”<\/em><\/p>\n

So\u00a0Ugga goes hunting, missing his aim as he slowly comes off the high and then realizes he has\u00a0a terrible case of the munchies and literally chases a dinosaur down on foot, basically inventing fast food.\u00a0 Yes, I know it is a stretch, but I’m the writer and imagineer here on this blog, and yes I am completely sober.<\/p>\n

Ugga is seen\u00a0burning bushes every day, even standing downwind to increase intake, while\u00a0losing productivity in the field.\u00a0 Unga begins to club him daily, but to\u00a0no avail, and then one day steps in front of the smoke, nagging Ugga until “boing<\/em>”\u00a0 it catches on.\u00a0 Then the two develop a pipe and later a bong from\u00a0a hollow dino horn.\u00a0 They invite their closest friends, Hunga and Bunga, along with Binga and Boinga, swedes – Inga and Svensturgonstut\u00a0\u00a0over for a bong party and\u00a0the\u00a0first block party is invented where they\u00a0have a gay ole time and write out the basis for a comedy routine, the “Hempstones.”<\/p>\n

Parties become a norm and there they sit around and delve into the origin of the species and invent the first smokeless chew, “Redeyeman”, followed by edibles “UngaBungaBudBrownies” and flavored coffees at “StarBuds.”\u00a0 Within years they open cave franchises and overharvest the plants, so they harvest the buds and go into horticulture, using GMO dino droppings to grow bigger and bigger plants, with stronger effect.\u00a0 As demand soars and supplies dwindle, foreigners from Arkantriassiac invade, lead by Billy Bob Bobinga, and\u00a0war breaks out, albeit a very slow battle.\u00a0 Finally,\u00a0an asteroid falls from the sky and wipes out the world.<\/p>\n

A few million years later,\u00a0modern men and women are now partaking in the same rituals at the Colorado Unga Bunga Inda Binga Bonga Festival.\u00a0 There they will talk about, well, I have no clue what they will talk about, but I\u00a0am sure the word DUDE will be over utilized in the conversation.\u00a0 Some things never change.\u00a0 If you have ever seen\u00a0the movie Dazed and Confused<\/em>, it was about the doped up 70’s, of which I was raised.\u00a0 It is pretty accurate of the times.\u00a0\u00a0I prefer to stay to sober and write about such things, for there is so much material to pick from.<\/p>\n

If you have your thoughts of the origin and evolution of marijuana, well DUDE, sound off, it should be an absurdly gay ole time.\u00a0If you love my sense of humor send me a rack of Bronto Ribs as compensation.\u00a0I work for food.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever sat back and wondered how things are the way they are?\u00a0 Yes, I know that’s really deep without enough coffee, but give it thought every so often, it’s fun!\u00a0 For example, when did man discover marijuana?\u00a0 I discovered it in high school and ended it in early college.\u00a0 It was not my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[192,431,432,646,791,870,935],"class_list":{"0":"post-2830","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"tag-bongs","8":"tag-evolution","9":"tag-ew-greenlee","10":"tag-humor","11":"tag-marijuana","12":"tag-munchies","13":"tag-origin-of-the-species","14":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2830","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2830"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2830\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2830"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2830"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2830"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}