{"id":2717,"date":"2013-12-23T16:28:27","date_gmt":"2013-12-23T22:28:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=2717"},"modified":"2013-12-23T16:28:27","modified_gmt":"2013-12-23T22:28:27","slug":"will-you-just-cork-it-2014-fashion-trends-revealed-and-reviled","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=2717","title":{"rendered":"Will You Just Cork It!!! 2014 Fashion Trends Revealed and Reviled"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"CorkFashions\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I love enterprising people!\u00a0 They take the ordinary daily objects and make art, art you can wear and be the center of the fashion universe, the attraction on main street.\u00a0 But these corked off entrepreneurs never go all the way, to turn a Martha Steward 30 sec0nd artsy project, into a gagagozillion dollar industry.\u00a0 I present to you the top-selling idea of 2014 by world-famous multipurpose designer Chaz Shiraz Obidiazz<\/em> – YAZ!<\/p>\n

CorkerTop<\/h1>\n

Who needs halter tops, they are sooo passe! We have all the sizes; Petite, Small, Medium, Large, Oakbarrel XXL and that’s just the beginning.\u00a0 There’s also our scratch and sniff collection:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Cabinet Sauvignonion<\/li>\n
  2. Chateaux de Chattilady<\/li>\n
  3. Younotouch de Pinot Noir Ohnonono<\/li>\n
  4. Shiraz Shiraz Chaz Nockuonurazz (Our Top Seller, aged like a fine pair of gym socks)<\/li>\n
  5. Zippididooda Zinfandel<\/li>\n
  6. Gew\u00fcrztraminer Gudentata<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Each is 100% guaranteed to lead to a sexual harassment suit.\u00a0 You’ll be rich, Rich, RICH (Less Chaz’s finder fee of 40%).<\/p>\n

    Each CorkerTop<\/em><\/strong> is guaranteed to keep you afloat should you fall off a boat or a dock after too many bottles. You can also tack grocery lists (aka, wine replacement order form) and never have to make a second trip.\u00a0 Triple the pleasure and sell tack-on advertising (franchise fee of 40% applies).<\/p>\n

    But we can’t leave the man in your life out of the social groove.\u00a0 We promise he’ll be the artful dodger and the top target of trendsetting sheeple seekers in the multipurpose:<\/p>\n

    DorkInaCork<\/strong><\/em><\/h1>\n

    \"corkxedo\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    I’m a not a stork with major torque,<\/em><\/p>\n

    I do not eat pork with a fork,<\/em><\/p>\n

    I am not from New York, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

    I am Mork, the Dork in a Cork.<\/em><\/p>\n

    He’ll be the bull of your eye and guaranteed to be hit on, over and over again.<\/p>\n

    But, we don’t rest on our laurels, we are always thinking ahead.\u00a0 After a night on the town, sit back and rest in your new….<\/p>\n

    CorkZeeBoy<\/h1>\n

    \"CorkzeeBoy\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    This is just the beginning, stay tuned for more things you can do with the money you could have retired on.\u00a0 Now for some gratuitous booty images courtesy of our mascot Carli Corky Corgi<\/p>\n

    \"Corgi\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    Absurd you say, well just cork it!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I love enterprising people!\u00a0 They take the ordinary daily objects and make art, art you can wear and be the center of the fashion universe, the attraction on main street.\u00a0 But these corked off entrepreneurs never go all the way, to turn a Martha Steward 30 sec0nd artsy project, into a gagagozillion dollar industry.\u00a0 I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[304,305,331,432,456,646,1260,1342],"class_list":{"0":"post-2717","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"tag-corgi","8":"tag-cork","9":"tag-darts","10":"tag-ew-greenlee","11":"tag-fashion","12":"tag-humor","13":"tag-trendy","14":"tag-wine","15":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2717"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2717\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}