{"id":2121,"date":"2013-04-26T07:44:05","date_gmt":"2013-04-26T12:44:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=2121"},"modified":"2013-04-26T07:44:05","modified_gmt":"2013-04-26T12:44:05","slug":"the-other-f-word-cute-litte-babies-they-grow-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=2121","title":{"rendered":"The Other “F” Word – Cute Litte Babies (They Grow Up)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"BabyFart\"<\/a>
That Came From Me?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Have you ever wondered why flatulence from babies are so funny and lovable, but not adults?\u00a0 I do, because its discrimination I tell you.\u00a0 I am in a discriminated class of citizen and I demand my rights!!!\u00a0 I digress as usual.<\/p>\n

My grandson just turned four months old a few weeks ago.\u00a0 He is one cute boy.\u00a0 Even his poo and gas are cute merely from the facial and body motions he makes.\u00a0 He grimaces, clinches his fist and stretches out like Superman getting ready to launch.\u00a0 Then he launches the raunchy.\u00a0 GiGi (my wife) then gets the call of dooty duty.\u00a0 Sorry, I did my time with my two kids.\u00a0 I didn’t have them so that I could relive those moments with their kids, no matter how cute they are. Their generation has to get their hands dirty like the rest of mankind’s history.\u00a0 And their ain’t no app for that.<\/p>\n

I can make faces too if people want. Would that help?\u00a0 Maybe we need a flatulence facial alarm system.\u00a0 Yeah, yeah, that’s the ticket.\u00a0 Little subtle facial expressions to forewarn people of the coming doom and gloom.\u00a0 Babies do it!\u00a0 We just fail to recognize the facial alarm signals.\u00a0 Here are two I clearly recognize.<\/p>\n

\"BabyFart2\"<\/a>
Tummy Time Turbo Turbulence Alarm<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"BabyFart4\"<\/a>
Gerber Peas and Broccoli Alarm<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Now aren’t they just precious?\u00a0 They almost remind me of Gollum trying to solve a riddle in the dark.\u00a0 Why should babies be allowed to have all the fun and cuteness?<\/p>\n

Even politicians do it.\u00a0 They hold all the power in the world in their hands and sometimes in their bowels.<\/p>\n

\"BabyFartGore\"<\/a>
An Inconvenient Truth Alarm<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"bush_fart\"<\/a>
The W – WMF Alarm<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Stars do it.\u00a0 They make millions being uncouth and disgusting.<\/p>\n

\"StarFarts\"<\/a>
Passing Out Passing Alarm<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"StarFart2\"<\/a>
Just About Bustin Out Justin Alarm<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Why should the ordinary masses be precluded from doing it?\u00a0 We have every right to pass gas and have a gasser of a laugh.<\/p>\n

\"FartFace1\"<\/a>
One Haggis Too Many Alarm<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"BabyFart3\"<\/a>
Triple Flutter Blast Alarm<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I write to make people think and to make people laugh.\u00a0 We do too little of this in these days and times. I urge you to slow down, turn off the TV and go out in public.\u00a0 Use your smartphones to take photos of people whose faces are giving off alarms.\u00a0 Then laugh about them in private. Oh, and then send me the photos.\u00a0 There is surely a face that needs a new alarm name.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever wondered why flatulence from babies are so funny and lovable, but not adults?\u00a0 I do, because its discrimination I tell you.\u00a0 I am in a discriminated class of citizen and I demand my rights!!!\u00a0 I digress as usual. My grandson just turned four months old a few weeks ago.\u00a0 He is one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[133,432,453,454,455,576,646,858,986],"class_list":{"0":"post-2121","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"tag-babies","8":"tag-ew-greenlee","9":"tag-fart","10":"tag-farting","11":"tag-farts","12":"tag-haggis","13":"tag-humor","14":"tag-movie-stars","15":"tag-politicians","16":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2121"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2121\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}