{"id":2118,"date":"2013-04-25T08:09:48","date_gmt":"2013-04-25T13:09:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=2118"},"modified":"2013-04-25T08:09:48","modified_gmt":"2013-04-25T13:09:48","slug":"oh-the-absurdity-of-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=2118","title":{"rendered":"Oh the Absurdity of People"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Abner\"<\/a>
Abner, it’s that weird author running around naked again. I’m gonna file an assault charge.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I could write something about the absurdity of people every single day.\u00a0 We simply have to read the news and within 30 seconds you can find the insane.\u00a0 Here’s a example hot from today’s headlines<\/p>\n

Sexual assault charges filed against man for being naked in his own home<\/a><\/p>\n

It appears a woman was exposed to his indecent exposure on four separate times. She even videotaped his nudity and actions.\u00a0 You can read all the sorted details if you like.<\/p>\n

Now this sounds to me like contributory absurdity – to complain about someone else, instead of turning the cheek and minding your own business.\u00a0 I’ve walked around naked in my house many times looking for clean laundry or just trying to cool off.\u00a0 My wife is a cold-natured person and her need to have our interior environment on equality of the planet Mercury is about to suffocate me.\u00a0 Sometimes without my knowledge she opens our blinds after I shower and I’ll stroll by, and then run by to prevent exposing myself to the general public.\u00a0 Her response when I complain about my involuntary exposure, “No one can see you!”<\/p>\n

You wanna bet?\u00a0 Read this article madam.\u00a0 Our next door neighbors may be watching with binoculars and a video camera.\u00a0 Just ready to file charges that might cost me thousands of dollars and public humiliation.\u00a0 Besides I am no longer a stud, like I was in my 20’s and 30’s.\u00a0 If I was, then I’d be cooperating with my neighbors like movie stars and social butterflies, like the Cardsharkians who pimp themselves out for everything, to make a few bucks.\u00a0 But I am 53, which means I went from stud to dud in 60 seconds flat.\u00a0 This is why they file assault charges.\u00a0 Filming duds causes irreparable eye and brain damage.\u00a0 They will also file punitive damages from my puny appearance.\u00a0 It’s insane I tell you.<\/p>\n

Now that I have informed my wife about this news article, I’m afraid that in the days to come I’ll answer the door and I’ll be served to appear in court for visual sexual assault.\u00a0 Who is the complainant?\u00a0 My wife, who insists the 10,000 times I’ve run around naked has done her irreparable harm.<\/p>\n

I don’t know why I torture myself reading the news.\u00a0 It gets more absurd with each passing second.\u00a0 Have a nice day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I could write something about the absurdity of people every single day.\u00a0 We simply have to read the news and within 30 seconds you can find the insane.\u00a0 Here’s a example hot from today’s headlines Sexual assault charges filed against man for being naked in his own home It appears a woman was exposed to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[432,646,883,912,1339],"class_list":{"0":"post-2118","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"tag-ew-greenlee","8":"tag-humor","9":"tag-naked","10":"tag-nudity","11":"tag-wife","12":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2118","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2118"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2118\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2118"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2118"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2118"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}