{"id":2059,"date":"2013-04-10T07:49:59","date_gmt":"2013-04-10T12:49:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=2059"},"modified":"2013-04-10T07:49:59","modified_gmt":"2013-04-10T12:49:59","slug":"apocalypse-monthly-april-2013-edition-the-password","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=2059","title":{"rendered":"Apocalypse Monthly – April 2013 Edition (The Password)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Apocalypse<\/a>
Apocalypse Monthly
Signs of the End of the Times<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I am old enough to remember the world before the socially impersonal personal computer.\u00a0 It was a sane world where the only password\u00a0 needed was the one that gained you access to the guy’s doubly secret tree house (Soon to be the\u00a0Man Club<\/a>).\u00a0 I think “Hate Girls” was the password that we used.\u00a0 Once in, we looked at Playboy centerfolds that one of the members stole from their dad’s car.\u00a0 Whoa, that’s not a girl, what is that?\u00a0 We were doomed from that moment on, because everywhere we went we looked for bunnies in the real world.\u00a0 They just don’t exist.\u00a0 But I digress.<\/p>\n

Fast forward 40 years and now you have so many applications, excuse me, we have so many apps, that we can’t remember the passwords to them.\u00a0 You can’t use “Hate Girls” because it’s not very secure and Siri would file a hate crime charge against you.\u00a0 Even PC’s have become PC.\u00a0 Oh no, we have to add all kinds of things to our passwords, like three levels of our past history, such as our dog’s name, or the name of the first gross girl you kissed.<\/p>\n

\"PuffyLips\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Wendy Wobble Wips was her name – how the heck\u00a0 could anyone forget her! I still have nightmares about that girl.\u00a0 It’s\u00a0 a miracle I’m married with children. Kissing her reminded me of being in a car wash. She became a full lip and facial masseuse.\u00a0 But I digress again.<\/p>\n

Then you start to run out of passwords, because you can’t use the same combo or near combo as the past 1,000,000 you just used.\u00a0 So you look around the room or out the window for clues to your next password that no one can possibly hack.\u00a0 Here’s a few from today’s password changes:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. BellyButtonLint2013<\/li>\n
  2. DustBunny4321BlastOff<\/li>\n
  3. WindyWendyWhipsWundabaWafflesWithWobbleWips!Q12TuvvWTH<\/li>\n
  4. 1DeadDriedSpider<\/li>\n
  5. SquirrelsPlayingWithNuts007<\/li>\n
  6. SuxNextMensPurseCapris2<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And this was just the password crap I had to go through to log into QuickBooks.\u00a0 What the hell is so Quick about that?\u00a0 Then my bank wants me to provide a picture that only I will know is my own.\u00a0 So I provided the photo of Wendy above.\u00a0 At least my brain will be shocked and possibly knocked back into password retrieval.<\/p>\n

    I was a consultant during Y2K, I ran test of people’s computers to determine if rolling over to “00” would reset history and kill current time and data. I was somewhat scared of being thrown back into the age of disco. I recall the doomsday press releases: nuclear annihilation, overrunning sewers, yada, yada.\u00a0 Nothing happen.\u00a0 I think someone farted and a few people died, but certainly no apocalypse.\u00a0 Then the Mayan fart came along and yet again, nothing happened.\u00a0 But I tell you, we are on an unsustainable app password course that will have dire consequences.\u00a0 Well at least for this month, then I’ll have to reset the passwords to my other 150 applications, excuse me, apps.<\/p>\n

    Finally, I am reminded of the movie Network, where the guy rants and raves to tell people to run to their windows and scream to the world, “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.” I imagine we are all carrying our computers, tablets and iSmarty phones and hurl them to their silicone deaths, with Siri screaming to the bitter concrete apocalyptic end, when we see the dawn of a new day and NewDayDawn04142013<\/em> becomes our password. For tomorrow it becomes WTF-IOWE-IRS-04152013<\/em>.<\/p>\n

    What’s the most annoying app security you’ve witnessed?\u00a0 Come on, share something here.\u00a0 I won’t SPAM you – much.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I am old enough to remember the world before the socially impersonal personal computer.\u00a0 It was a sane world where the only password\u00a0 needed was the one that gained you access to the guy’s doubly secret tree house (Soon to be the\u00a0Man Club).\u00a0 I think “Hate Girls” was the password that we used.\u00a0 Once in, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,23],"tags":[113,116,297,376,456,683,732,952,978,1018,1126,1188,1200],"class_list":{"0":"post-2059","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-apocalypse-monthly","7":"category-humor","8":"tag-apocalypse","9":"tag-apps","10":"tag-computers","11":"tag-doomsday","12":"tag-fashion","13":"tag-irs","14":"tag-kissing","15":"tag-passwords","16":"tag-playboy","17":"tag-quickbooks","18":"tag-smart-phones","19":"tag-tablets","20":"tag-taxes","21":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2059","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2059"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2059\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}