{"id":2036,"date":"2013-04-09T07:52:36","date_gmt":"2013-04-09T12:52:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=2036"},"modified":"2013-04-09T07:52:36","modified_gmt":"2013-04-09T12:52:36","slug":"construction-dysfunction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=2036","title":{"rendered":"Construction Dysfunction"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I am a frustrated architect.\u00a0 I truly wanted to design homes and buildings for a living, but couldn&#8217;t pass college physics and calculus.\u00a0 It just didn&#8217;t make any sense.\u00a0 I should have tried harder because the world is full of idiots.\u00a0 I have proof right here.\u00a0 Exhibit #1 (The EU ATM System)<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_2037\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2037\" style=\"width: 282px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/atm.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2037\" alt=\"Exhibit #1\" src=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/atm.jpg?resize=282%2C184\" width=\"282\" height=\"184\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-2037\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Exhibit #1<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>How does one prevent a run on banks?\u00a0 Simple, make them leap for withdrawals.\u00a0 In this case, the guy has to jump four times to enter his pin.\u00a0 When completed he gets a timeout message that his transaction cannot be completed and his card is spit out into the EU winds aloft.\u00a0 Replacement cards take from 4 weeks to 4 years.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_2038\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2038\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/constructionmistakes.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-2038\" alt=\"Exhibit #2\" src=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/constructionmistakes.jpg?w=300&#038;resize=300%2C223\" width=\"300\" height=\"223\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-2038\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Exhibit #2<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>You&#8217;ve heard of the bridge to nowhere?\u00a0 Well say hello to the WTH Bridge.\u00a0 Have you ever noticed coming up on a road construction project where there are 18 guys standing around and 1 guy with a shovel?\u00a0 Seems calculus wasn&#8217;t working for this crew of engineers.\u00a0 Maybe an eye, along with a brain, examination is needed.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_2039\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2039\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/dysfunctionalbathroom.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-2039\" alt=\"Exhibit #3\" src=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/dysfunctionalbathroom.jpg?w=300&#038;resize=300%2C225\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-2039\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Exhibit #3<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>This must have been a custom dysfunction construction project.\u00a0 The owner desired to take paper baths instead of sponge baths.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_2040\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2040\" style=\"width: 230px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/4_funniest-construction-mistakes-33.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-2040\" alt=\"Exhibit #4\" src=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/4_funniest-construction-mistakes-33.jpg?w=230&#038;resize=230%2C300\" width=\"230\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-2040\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Exhibit #4<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I get the concept of bidets, I really do, but this goes beyond dysfunction to the realm of deranged.\u00a0 I am laying odds this is the new Bubba Bidet.\u00a0 Here you can relieve yourself, wash your backside, take a shower and water pick your teeth all in one sitting.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_2041\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2041\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/const.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-2041\" alt=\"Exhibit #5\" src=\"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/04\/const.jpg?w=300&#038;resize=300%2C257\" width=\"300\" height=\"257\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-2041\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Exhibit #5<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>My final exhibit goes from deranged dysfunction to derailed.\u00a0 Can you imagine a realtor having to sell you this? &#8220;I&#8217;d love to show you the lovely view from the patio.&#8221;\u00a0 Uh, you first ma&#8217;am. The ad in the paper just read, &#8220;So close to the train station you can hear the engines roar.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This blog is not only about my writing, but about the absurdities in our world.\u00a0 As long as there are dysfunctional humans, we will have something to write about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am a frustrated architect.\u00a0 I truly wanted to design homes and buildings for a living, but couldn&#8217;t pass college physics and calculus.\u00a0 It just didn&#8217;t make any sense.\u00a0 I should have tried harder because the world is full of idiots.\u00a0 I have proof right here.\u00a0 Exhibit #1 (The EU ATM System) How does one [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[126,171,301,425,426,432,554,646,931,1031,1241,1254],"class_list":{"0":"post-2036","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"tag-atm","8":"tag-bidets","9":"tag-construction","10":"tag-eu-debt-crisis","11":"tag-european-union","12":"tag-ew-greenlee","13":"tag-goofy","14":"tag-humor","15":"tag-oops","16":"tag-realtor","17":"tag-toilets","18":"tag-trains","19":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2036","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2036"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2036\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2036"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2036"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}