{"id":1756,"date":"2013-02-28T07:25:35","date_gmt":"2013-02-28T13:25:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=1756"},"modified":"2013-02-28T07:25:35","modified_gmt":"2013-02-28T13:25:35","slug":"you-shall-not-pass-i-double-daughter-dare-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=1756","title":{"rendered":"You Shall Not Pass – I Double Daughter Dare you!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"YouShallNotPass\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We all recall the great words of Gandalf the White’s famous words to the Balrog – “You Shall Not Pass.”\u00a0 Wait, no, that’s actually from Monty Python’s Holy Grail.\u00a0 Wait, no, that’s not it either.<\/p>\n

[youtube=http:\/\/youtu.be\/gXY9TuuwyL8]<\/p>\n

Whatever.<\/p>\n

The point is that this applies to the household of Famous Hamish.\u00a0 Just a short while back my daughter dared me to create posts around photographs.\u00a0 She just didn’t realize that in secret I was learning Photoshop. Bwahahahahaha.<\/p>\n

I am a protective father, so if you decide you wish to pass and court my Courtney, then let me establish Famous Hamish’s daughter dating rules:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You must have a great bass fishing boat.\u00a0 [Send Photo of Boat]<\/li>\n
  2. Stocked with ice cold beer. [Send Amples of Samples]<\/li>\n
  3. Pay Homage to Famous Hamish [$100,000]<\/li>\n
  4. Pull your pants up or put on a kilt.<\/li>\n
  5. Keep your hands off the huge tracts of land, or it will be more than a flesh wound.<\/li>\n
  6. Have her home by 8:00 p.m. along with amples of samples.<\/li>\n
  7. You must have an MBA, a 10,000 square foot castle; and a nice, but not too expensive, shrubbery.<\/li>\n
  8. You must be able to hold down Famous Hamish’s Hot Hurled Haggis for 30 seconds, while doing a one-legged potato sack race, knitting a kilt and playing the bagpipes.<\/li>\n
  9. Gene testing.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    That’s all. Trust me she is worth every perilous haggis hurling moment.\u00a0 Unless your name is Herbert, then you my boy, shall not pass.\u00a0 For I am the servant of the secret Photoshop, wielder of the quick selection tool, destroyer of dashingly daring dating dunderheads.<\/p>\n

    [youtube=http:\/\/youtu.be\/g3YiPC91QUk]<\/p>\n

    Do you have, or did your father have some rather strict or absurd dating rules?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    We all recall the great words of Gandalf the White’s famous words to the Balrog – “You Shall Not Pass.”\u00a0 Wait, no, that’s actually from Monty Python’s Holy Grail.\u00a0 Wait, no, that’s not it either. [youtube=http:\/\/youtu.be\/gXY9TuuwyL8] Whatever. The point is that this applies to the household of Famous Hamish.\u00a0 Just a short while back my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,31],"tags":[143,144,238,314,332,334,432,450,509,741,843,968],"class_list":{"0":"post-1756","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-humor","7":"category-monty-hamlet","8":"tag-balrog","9":"tag-balrogs","10":"tag-castle-swamp","11":"tag-courtship","12":"tag-dating","13":"tag-daughters","14":"tag-ew-greenlee","15":"tag-famous-hamish","16":"tag-gandalf","17":"tag-land","18":"tag-monty-python","19":"tag-photoshop","20":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1756","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1756"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1756\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1756"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1756"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1756"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}