{"id":1594,"date":"2013-02-20T07:32:08","date_gmt":"2013-02-20T13:32:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ewgreenlee.wordpress.com\/?p=1594"},"modified":"2013-02-20T07:32:08","modified_gmt":"2013-02-20T13:32:08","slug":"ginger-or-mary-ann","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/?p=1594","title":{"rendered":"Ginger or Mary Ann?"},"content":{"rendered":"

My daughter is now on a kick to see how I can create humor around photos.\u00a0 For us aging men, there has always been a deep and daily thought on what would happen if we were stranded on an island and had only two choices of who to be stranded with.\u00a0 That’s right, the philosophical conundrum of – Ginger or Mary Ann?<\/p>\n

\"Island\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I can settle this quickly. Without a doubt Mary Ann.\u00a0 Why you ask?<\/p>\n

Mary Ann is a farmer’s daughter who set out on a three hour tour and wound up ship wrecked on Mulligan’s Isle with yours truly, the accountant.\u00a0 Yeah, yeah, I know there was no accountant on the ship, but it’s my fantasy, so let me have fun. It’s tax season for crying out loud. Besides none of you ever questioned the absurdity of a filthy rich millionaire and movie star taking a low budget trolling tour.\u00a0 It makes more sense for a tight-wad CPA. Producers canned the idea stating a CPA character would have sunk the Minnow in the pilot episode.\u00a0 Well, they never met me.<\/p>\n

Mary Ann is a farmer, so she is used to hard work and living off the land.\u00a0 This means she will devise a way to make coconuts into something edible.\u00a0 She’s been couped up in the hen house for most of her life and now she’s trapped there with me. For the sake of my minor aged readers, I’ll stop here.\u00a0 But since I’ve never truly understood the meaning of “Farmer’s Daughter”, I assume world championship rodeo is involved. YEE HAW!<\/p>\n

Had it been Ginger the “Movie Star”, of Rodeo Drive, she would have been immediately worried about her cuticles, hair, and her 50 Coach bags.\u00a0 She’d be barking out orders like a super model pit bull on Red Bull.\u00a0 She would most likely be an “experienced” lady of Lola LaLa Land,\u00a0 and have been around the island a few times, if you get my sea weed drift.\u00a0 Besides I saw her video on TMZ not intentionally wanting it to go public (wink, wink.) Any time she wanted something she’d go into acting mode; strutting towards you, while you sing a Bob Seger tune in your head, winking and whispering, “Oh dawling could you fix me some fish?”\u00a0 Nope, she would be first to go over board.<\/p>\n

Mary Ann would have already caught dinner for two, had it fried in a pan, and never, ever let me forget I was a man.\u00a0 YEE HAW! Besides, who wants to go the beach with a woman that has a $5,000 Fendi evening gown on?\u00a0 Mary Ann’s running around the place with beautiful flowing brunette hair and tanned skin, with faded worn out denim short-shorts and a thinning plaid shirt tied above the naval base, calling out for invasion.\u00a0 Grrrrrr… Woof Woof! Sorry I can only hold back the animal inside me for a while.\u00a0 Am I right, or am I right?<\/p>\n

She’s also a enterprising woman, willing to do back breaking work, while I sip on Pina Colada’s and count the coconut inventory(my only job as chief beach bum.) She made a moonshine still too!\u00a0 It doesn’t take a professor for this smart country gal. She also made a wooden railroad on the island so that I could take a daily trip to Petticoat Junction.\u00a0 Hey, it’s my fantasy island!\u00a0 Again, you never questioned how the Minnow could carry so much stuff, like luggage, for a three hour tour.\u00a0 Was Ginger giving a fashion show?<\/p>\n

Now for a sing along:<\/p>\n

Just sit right back and I’ll tell a tale,
\nA tale of a fateful trip
\nThat started from this tropic port
\nAboard this tiny ship.<\/div>\n
The mate was a skinny silly man,
\nThe skipper brave and sure.
\nSix passengers set sail that day
\nFor a three hour tour, a three hour tour.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The ocean bellowed and the ocean swayed,
\nSomeone sabotaged the tiny ship,
\nIf not for the courage of the devious CPA
\nMary Ann would be lost, Mary Ann would be lost.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The ship set ground on the shore of a deserted fruity isle
\nWith Eduardo,
\nNo Skipper or Scooby Doo,
\nNo millionaire and his wife,
\nNo movie star,
\nNo professor, just
\nMary Ann,
\nHere on Mulligan’s Isle.<\/p>\n

Oh what a fantasy!\u00a0 That’s when some little short runt would come running by screaming “Boss, De Plane, De Plane!”\u00a0 and a cruise whip wrecks just right off the reef, with thousands of people from the geriatric Love Boat<\/em> come swimming my way wearing bikinis, thongs and speedos. This is where my fantasy runs ashore on the wind swept plains of Oklahoma.<\/p>\n

As you can see I would not make a great erotic author.\u00a0 Fantasy islands have too many tourist and are overly commercial.\u00a0 We only had 3 channels growing up.\u00a0 Today we have 3,000.\u00a0 There’s more material now for absurd fantasy than ever before.<\/p>\n

Get busy writing!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My daughter is now on a kick to see how I can create humor around photos.\u00a0 For us aging men, there has always been a deep and daily thought on what would happen if we were stranded on an island and had only two choices of who to be stranded with.\u00a0 That’s right, the philosophical […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[277,303,317,456,469,479,530,531,533,646,768,797,828,834,839,858,962,971,1055,1056,1082,1197],"class_list":{"0":"post-1594","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-writing","7":"tag-coconuts","8":"tag-cooking","9":"tag-cpa","10":"tag-fashion","11":"tag-fendi","12":"tag-fishing","13":"tag-gillgans-isle","14":"tag-gilligan","15":"tag-ginger","16":"tag-humor","17":"tag-love-boat","18":"tag-mary-ann","19":"tag-minnow","20":"tag-models","21":"tag-monkeys","22":"tag-movie-stars","23":"tag-petticoat-junction","24":"tag-pina-colada","25":"tag-rodeo","26":"tag-rodeo-drive","27":"tag-scooby-doo","28":"tag-tax-season","29":"czr-hentry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1594"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1594\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allivarcreative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}