Manpri’s

Recently in USA Today was an article headline that read:

“Cropped pants give men a leg up on the fashion competition”

Then the images show three men standing side by side wearing manpri’s. No faces were shown. Oh really! I am certain this is a female conspiracy. Here’s how I know.

“Jennifer Gosselin, senior vice president at online retailer Piperlime, pairs the abbreviated pants trend with the ‘huge’ return of the boat shoe. There is this sort of casual, put-together preppy ‘vibe’ that has emerged in menswear — and womenswear. Witness the scads of female stars flashing a little leg, from Jessica Alba to Jessica Biel. Even with its retro elements, the look just feels fresh and modern.”

Now you notice the comment didn’t come from a man, but a woman! I am not in competition with Ms. Alba or Ms. Biel. I would rather look like Ryan Gosling or that guy from Thor.

This also gives women an opportunity to gossip about how gaudy the pri’s look on men. “Well his hiney is certainly bigger than mine. How could he wear such a thing in public!” I am convinced it is a jealousy thing. Because if a guy strolls up in his manpris carrying a manprada or mancoach, even hell itself cannot hold back the wrath and fury.

The day that I find myself in the men’s store for more than 30 minutes worrying of accessorizing my manpri’s is the day I’ll commit hari kari. Maybe other men are willing to be trendsetters, but don’t blame me if you hear me snickering as you pass by. It’s not you I am laughing at; it’s the absurd world we live in. So don’t get your manpri’s in a bunch.